


I See You

by Lisilgirl



Category: Avatar (2009)
Genre: Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 10:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisilgirl/pseuds/Lisilgirl
Summary: I am a paralyzed marine, and yet I am Toruk Makto. Only she knows who I am now. JxN POST MOVIE. Character exploration.
Relationships: Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at’ite/Jake Sully
Comments: 2
Kudos: 83





	1. Toruk Makto

Tom's death hit me hard. It had happened so suddenly; he and I hadn't spoken in the few months since I'd slammed a door in his face when he brought me stickers for my wheelchair. The pain when I looked at his unsmiling face was worse than any tour of Venezuela. Sitting at my favorite bar, and then, bam. Government agents tell me my PhD certified twin is shot dead for a couple of bucks.

For a while, I asked why I was still alive. When we were kids, Tom would make the plans and tell me how to 'execute' them. Usually I broke bones or gained a few stitches. I ran hell-bent toward danger, while Tom followed at a graceful walk.

Who was I?

Tom had known me the best, as my twin. In my heart, I thought I would never find someone to trust me so completely as Thomas Sully, PhD in Xenobiology and Medicine of Pandora.

I was wrong.

Her name was Neytiri.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

I killed the man who nearly killed my mate.

I was fierce and perfect in form. The bow hummed in my hand, and I saw the scarred man's life fade from his eyes. Unable to move or to breathe with the arrows in his chest, he died slowly of the poison. Eywa would not be proud of the feeling inside. But I am satisfied for the trade, the loss of life.

That was instants ago. I kneel over my Jake, but his body is silent. I cry for him, slap his face, hope for signs. There is none and inside, my heart breaks. What do I do? I feel the water of tears behind my eyes. His skin is warm under my hand, but he is like on the morning of the destruction of Eywa's sacred Tree of Voices. He does not respond.

I cannot, _cannot_ live without him.

Then I hope.

In the structure from our four human allies, I hear choking. My ears perk and I am inside the metal box. Scents of sweat, food, and blood make inside me spin; it is the scent of Sky People, but it is Jake. There are big boxes, with smells of fire in the thin wires. One is crushed. My forehead wrinkles, and I cry again, because I see him.

He is different. Not blue. Not tall. No tail. But I know it is my Jake. His chin is strong. His five fingers are in pain as if he fell from _Kelutrel_. His legs are thin as a twig. Alarmed, I am with him in one step.

No breath. My hands touch...cradle like a _baby_. I cannot panic. He is small. He is light, like a stretched fern. I see the breathing machine that the Sky People - that Jake - must wear. My hands tug and push until it covers his face. Ox-a-gin hisses like an _ikran_.

I am afraid for him. He is not in either body. Has Eywa taken him from me?

His eyes open.

I know it is my Jake. He is always like this when he wakes. Take in surroundings, like a warrior. Blink fast to know where he is. They are dark, and small, but alive. The tiny body shudders. He twitches and he can now breathe. I hold him, heart swelling. My Jake.

He looks to me. I look back. We are one. He knows.

"I see you," he says. I know. He is seeing me for the first time as a Sky People. He is not frightened. He is strong.

"I see you," I whisper. I wish he knows I still want him. His hand beneath mine warms. I hold him. I never want to let go.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

Her face is exactly what I needed to see.

For one moment, I can forget pain and suffering. Her smile makes my burden lift; it makes me want to reach up and kiss her so hard that she forgets who Eywa is. Our skin is soft and warm together. Eyes the color of the sun twinkle at me with relief. My eyes trace her high cheekbones, then her lips. Her tears wet my fingertips.

Neytiri's war paint reminds me where we are: in a portable link room in the middle of the jungle, miles away from any help or a damn link. I know she can carry me to...wherever. A list of things start pouring through my head. I want to move, to run; I need to go back to the base camp for a link, but I need to check my People.

This body is worthless. I need to move, to strike the perpetrators one last time. Holding two of Neytiri's fingers, I ask, "Are the People regrouped? We need to drive the remaining humans toward the Sector Four camp. The few we don't get will be taken by Eywa."

I know from her uncertain face that was the last thing she had thought of. For a moment, I feel guilty of taking this simple pleasure of holding me away from her. But time is crucial. Like a curious child, she brings me carefully to the airlock, eyes wide. I hit the proper sequence, and the doors slide open into the wild.

Colonel Quaritch's AMP suit is pristine and shining against the light filtering through the trees, although there is blood coated on the front where the _palulukan_ fell. I look away, remembering the agonizing pain from the nerves of my braid as I hung between life and death. With Neytiri's arm supporting my weight, I motion to my Avatar.

The body is strewn outside in the long grass, seemingly dead. A bug crawls over the arm, skittering upon our approach. There's not even a twitch from a toe. His face is smooth, with no troubles. I've never seen how wild and dangerous he seems now that I am a full Omaticaya; the braids are tight and bunched around the skull, the muscle is no longer lean but thick and burly, and the skin is riddled with bug stings, scars, and cuts. Ironically, the only time I've ever been this close to him was when he was in the growth chamber, not functioning yet. I saw my brother's face in his, and still do. It unnerves me, because Tom is dead. Will I look just like him when I die?

Neytiri's gaze flickers between the two of us. Obviously, she doesn't know how to feel since I am staring at him like I do my paralyzed legs. Her arm subconsciously tightens. "I cannot take both," she warns, clearly demonstrating she'd rather take me than him.

I wish I could call anyone. Norm must have headed out with the handheld communication system - the system inside is destroyed - and I cannot call my banshee or the toruk. Neytiri told me of her _ikran_ Tze'ze's death. A _pa'li_ cannot be called from where we are, and in all honesty, I don't think I want to ride one right now. Frustrated, I grit my teeth.

Neytiri immediately touches my face with her long warm fingers, and asks worriedly, "My Jake?"

I didn't mean to, but I snap, "How are we going to get to the human camp?"

Her ears flatten, and irritated, she growls, "I will carry you to the People. We will ride _pa'li_ to the camp, and you will speak with No-men." She presses me into a cradle in her arms while I glower at the AMP machine, redirecting my anger. Although she must have seen how tired and frustrated I was, she says nothing.

Faster than a panther on Earth, she begins to run, slender legs eating up the distance. The brilliant scenery flashes past, and my head hurts. If I was in my Avatar, I would be able to hear a beetle on the tree as I whipped past. I would be able to keep up with Neytiri, instead of being carried away by a nine foot tall alien woman.

There is so much building inside of my chest. I can feel the hatred and confusion of my human side, and the trust and worry of my Na'Vi side. Are these both me? Or am I sincerely two people, living a lie?

And why does Neytiri not shy away from me, a human? Do appearances just not matter? Or is she feeling a duty to carry me on, when she knows without me, my Avatar will not live?

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

I come to the Tree of Souls, and the more of my People I encounter. It is not just the Omaticaya clan, but my brothers and sisters from the plains and the cliffs. All know me as mate of Toruk Makto, daughter of Mo'at and Eytukan. They stare, like rude children, at sleeping Jake in my arms. Many have not seen a peaceful human. I hear _unil-tìran-tokx_, "the dreamwalker body", from those I pass. It irritates because they do not know it is Jake and my ears are flat against my skull.

It is an exhausted place now. It smells of blood and victory. Warriors hiss and hold wounds, while their mates soothe. They do not enter the grove of our sacred mother. The dead need Eywa's comfort more than the living. My mother is dancing there, praying for my kin who have lost mates and creatures. I watch from the ridge. Her body quakes. She sends prayers to Eywa. I feel shivers; I will one day be her, singing. I walk to a lonely spot through those who wait, and offer a prayer beside them.

I turn, sniffing. A Sky People smell is here. My eyes find No-men. He sits by himself by the edge of the cavern, the look of a hollow tree in his eye. He plays with equipment, poking buttons. This man too, had a dreamwalking body. I found the body in the underbrush. It had been shot through either the arm or the heart; under so many worthless clothes, I could not see the hurt. This made me anxious inside for my mate.

"I see you," I say, nodding to the Sky Person. I realize I copied the nod from Jake.

The sadness is pushed away. He repeats the familiar gesture, and answers in my tongue, "Greetings, Neytiri." His eyes see Jake in my arms. Carefully, he swallows. "_Is he...?_"

"No." I snap, baring my teeth. I try to tell myself Jake is unstoppable. But I know he is human now, that he cannot be left alone. I blink, and show No-men his body. The small human has to stand on his toes, like a stalk of grass in the meadow. I kneel.

The Sky Person is tired, from his eyes and his body. Dirt is caked on his skin and there is something bad in his eye. He focuses on my Jake. "Looks like the oxygen tank is doing well," No-men's fingers adjust a part. My nose reeks at the smell of his sweat. "Neytiri, both of us need to get back to the main camp..."

I blink. "Jake told me." I hesitate, then say, "Does he have a sickness...?"

"Why do you say that?" No-men asks, hands checking Jake's forehead. I want to pull back. I don't. I know Jake is sleeping, but he will wake. The human continues speaking, "There's no fever, and no external wounds. Did a leak spring in the oxygen hold-"

I twist until Jake's legs are in front of No-men. "No movement in his legs."

Shocked, the man's mouth opens. This makes me anxious again. No-men doesn't know what to tell me. My cheeks glow with impatience. "I do not care," I defend sullenly, "I wish I could save him."

No-men nods with amusement, although he is sad. "You did save him. You should have seen him before. He was...sick with grief and depression." His hand rubs his neck. "You should talk to him about it. He never discussed it with me, and I knew his bro-"

Like he knows we are speaking of him, Jake wakes. His arms flex and I can feel muscle against my skin. It makes me smile at his human power. I whisper in his ear a simple waking prayer. Soft brown eyes greet me. I want to nuzzle him, and I do.

"Neytiri," he says, in the way only he can. Tsu'Tey never says my name; he only greets. Glancing toward the Sky Person, he says, "Norman..." He is awkward, "I'm sorry about Trudy. She called me in the last few seconds. She...she gave it her all." I frown. The sadness in Nor-man's eyes increases.

"Jake, I'm glad you made it through. Thomas would be relieved. Proud even."

My mate is silent, and I feel his heartbeat sing. "Norman, we need to get the last humans back to Sector Four. They need to leave. There's more oxygen there and a link center. God willing there's a trustworthy astronaut willing to head for Earth." His five fingers are curled on my forefinger, while he keeps himself up. He is holding them tight.

The other human nods, quickly saying, "If you get Tsu'Tey or Mo'at to command a sweep of the valley, we can herd the stragglers into the base. Besides, all of them will have lost sufficient amounts of oxygen from their reserves, and the actual air can't sustain them for a couple of days. We can just surround the base if Max can open the blast door."

They talk more. I wonder where Tsu'Tey is; he could fly Jake to the Sky People camp. The two continue to talk, holding a war speak in the middle of the resting grounds. Could I make it to the _ikran_ grounds tonight? "Let's go," Jake says, making me listen, "I'll feel better once the humans are contained without the tech supplies."

Norman frowns. He shows fear by not looking at my mate's eyes. "Jake, the People need to rest. War and these losses cannot help after exhaustion. The two of us have enough oxygen to stay out here for the night."

Suddenly, my mate stiffens in my arms. The hair on my neck rises aggressively at his reaction. Jake growls, "Yeah, well, my body is lying in a jungle alone, and I want to be in it right now."

I know his worry, and I react.

"I can return for him." My words take Jake back. He does not ask how. I do not plan to tell him I will ride a _pa'li_ to the metal box, in the dark, and by only my own strength bring him back. Before he can speak, I nuzzle his face, touching his cheekbone. His anger is stopped. With care, I put him down on the ground. It concerns me. His legs do not move. I tell Norman to watch and I command Jake to stay. My mother will check, I explain, while I get his body. He is smiling when I am finished. He touches my hand.

I leave. The body of Toruk Makto must be mine.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

I spoke with Mo'at a few hours ago about surrounding the base within twenty-four hours. Norm told me since she is the remaining clan leader at the site, she has the power to ask for such measures, and with my close association already, it was almost guaranteed. Confused, I wondered where Tsu'Tey was. If there was a chance for him to ridicule me, it would be now. Strangely, I wouldn't mind seeing him in person.

Close to ten, Mo'at came to my seated position against one of the rocky outcroppings. I was relieved she did not stare at my exposed legs. With the traditional greeting established, she asked what I needed, and if it was in accordance with Eywa. After hearing my detailed proposal, she told me what I asked would be done. Then she left.

Within a few minutes, a horde of eager warriors had thundered out on _pa'li_, whooping as the sun set below the horizon. The wounded and exhausted stayed behind, resting. I heard from Norm that Mo'at had asked Eywa to care for her brethren so that in the morning many more could ride out.

Once the rumbling dies, it is quiet. The dark and the silence make my ears buzz.

All evening, Norman has been by me, although I didn't blame him when he fell asleep. The stars are bright, and the planet of Polyphemus above is like watching an ever-changing sunset of azure and purple. The brush encloses me comfortably as if I am under a blanket. I feel safe surrounded by my People, even if they don't know it's me.

In the surrounding trees and rocks, other Na'Vi have bedded down, sometimes touching their mates. It makes me ache. I want Neytiri, even without the Avatar. I know she is racing through the jungle, either trying to find my body or bringing him back. There is only one way I want to thank her and I can't. This body will not allow me anything, let alone mating - or even kissing! - with the woman that I love. I force a bitter swallow down my throat.

I cannot sleep, even when I close my eyes, because before I was either awake in my Avatar body or awake in this body. My mind is alert and insomniatic. I am still reliving the feeling of leaping through space from the bomber onto _toruk_, and feeling gravity yank me free from Quaritch's ship as he fired the machine gun toward me.

I never told Grace how I felt about the Avatar.

It became my freedom, my escape from a dark world. As long as I had something to do, to focus on, I could truly rise up. But I was ignoring the part of me that held my steel-trap mind: a paralyzed Marine. Being around my peers, paralyzed from the waist down, makes me feel...complicated. My mind is what led us to victory, not this paralyzed body. It is absolutely worthless.

Under my hands, I feel the ground rumble from a lone _pa'li_. As the figure comes to the outskirts, I can tell the animal slows, its breath labored. No one would be returning. I hope it's Neytiri.

The hours crawl by, but my mate does not appear through the underbrush. My back begins to twinge like it is falling asleep. I can't seem to keep my eyes open...

"Jake."

I swear and jerk, seeing Neytiri approaching softly at a half-crawl. Her hands dig into the earth, the four fingers keeping her weight balanced. In the twilight, the luminescent spots on her skin as bright as the stars. Clacking from her war beads alerts me that it is truly her. She comes to my side.

I immediately know something is wrong. Her eyes are downcast, and I can see the pain in her slumped shoulders. It physically burdens her.

"I found the body of Tsu'Tey," she whispers.

Her pain becomes my own and I clench my jaw. Unreal. Impossible. Tsu'Tey was one of the strongest, the best of the warriors. Pushing me was his own private game, and was he a master at it! In the end, we had truly overcome our differences. He was my brother. We were to work together to chase away the people of Earth and he was to lead the Na'Vi when it was over. The sadness swallows me for a minute, and I put my head into my hands.

I realize I have lost two brothers in one year. Tom was hard enough.

Neytiri quietly sneaks her head into my lap, arms protectively encircling my waist. I want to bat her off, to tell her that I'm not a feeble old man, but I think this time, she's the one who wants protecting. Gingerly, I run my hands through her hair. She sighs, and her breath deepens.

We sit for nearly an hour, reeling from the shock of Tsu'Tey's death. I should have expected it, but he seemed a steady part of the community, a rock in the midst of the sea. But so many have died, so many strong warriors. It was a miracle that both Neytiri and I made it through after Quaritch's attack. If not for Neytiri, I wouldn't be alive.

She breaks the silence by asking, "Jake? Can't you feel this?"

I don't understand what she is asking until I see her fingers running down my leg. Heat rushes to my chest. The little vixen had performed the same movement in the sacred woods, when she accepted me as a mate. The way her fingers pressed on my muscles had driven me wild in a flash of pleasure.

My stomach churns in disgust. The world spins.

Like she's being burned, her hands jump away from my brittle legs. The touch on my face is soft, and I can see her eyes shaking in shame. "I'm sorry," she whimpers, "I...I-"

"Stop it. I'm fine," I say, through the mask. It distorts my voice into emotionless. For once, I'm glad of it. It's an awkward subject for humans, and I don't expect her to understand. Hell, even I don't understand why it suddenly became the most hated thing about myself. Maybe since I've become unable to even link up to my Avatar. "Tomorrow, when we are back at the Sector Four camp, I want to talk to you about everything. Everything."

Her golden eyes soften, and she carefully hugs me against her hot body. My thoughts calm, thinking of an explanation that will not cause her worry. Finally, I just say, "Neytiri...I need the human camp. I need-" My head swims. "I need my body."

She jumps at the chance to apologize. "I brought him back. Mo'at is praying for his good health." Tears are building under her eyelids. "I didn't mean-I didn't want-"

"Neytiri," I feel the words come out of my mouth harshly, "Stop. Tomorrow."

I turn to the jungle, away from my curious mate. I may love her, but my mind couldn't do this. Not tonight.

I was sick of being a cripple.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

I had hurt my Jake.

I could see his icy anger, burning a hole in our bond.

I didn't mean it.

I didn't.

Unable to leave, I slept next to him, defiant that he would shut me away. We were mates. This body would not come between us.

I would not let it.

When he was stupid, I called my Jake a baby. I remember my anger at his stupidity. He followed when I pushed him away, insisted that he come with me. He was stupid. Rude.

Perhaps now I am the baby.

0

0


	2. Jake Sully

#### -Norman-

Sector Four looks like an oil rig from back home.

I can't get over how it sticks out like a broken thumb, all metal and mechanics with bare ground underneath. To the People, this is a harsh, harsh transgression against Eywa, and after witnessing Jake's heated argument with Mo'at last night, I believe the humans need to go.

Even if I am one of them. _God, Norm, and here you thought you could stay._ I curse inwardly, peeking at the vanguard of Na'Vi at my left. Farther back, Jake and my Avatars are being held by other warriors, clearly unused holding limp bodies on the horses. The whole journey here the warriors have been cursing under their breath at the "dream-walking." To my right, Neytiri is comfortable with her bond to the direhorse, large and hurt eyes sweeping in the valley. Jake's cradled like a cross cat in Neytiri's arms.

If I weren't so depressed, I would have taunted him. Although I had my frustration with his publicity after his Avatar's acceptance into the Omaticaya, he truly is my best friend. It must run in the family, because Tom was my buddy too.

And Trudy.

In the several months that we had been up in the Hallelujah Mountains, I had never heard so many cuss words come from one woman. At first, I had tried to placate her until I realized she was all bark and no bite. I began teasing back, by putting too much salt in the mush Parker called food and purposely asking her how the day had been, when I know all she had done was polish her helicopter or when she practiced boxing on a bag of dirty clothes.

Jake wasn't the only one who had changed in the mountains. Instead of collecting samples in my Avatar body, I would play poker with her in the copter. Slowly, she began opening up, dropping me hints about her miserable life on Earth, the military's way of enforcing justice, and how being up here loosened her tongue.

I kissed her on the cheek, confidently asking for a sample.

_Scientist!_ she had laughed, before she dragged me back for a full assault.

Once, we sat up past Jake and Grace's bedtimes, staring at the stars. She explained she had returned to the base to refuel, only to find herself lost in the constant talk of when the dozers would get to Home Tree and the stock rises back on Earth for unobtanium. There had been no discussion of even asking the natives to leave. With a wry smile, she said she was glad she had come back to her true comrades.

And now, she was gone.

It hurts like...like my heart has a hole blown through it. My lips are always on fire, thinking about our first kiss. When I saw Jake brushing Neytiri's arm, I seriously wondered if Trudy and I ever had a chance. The People's love was forever. How long would ours have lasted?

I take a deep breath, noticing that within the compound's walls, a handful of mounted Na'Vi sped around on the thick direhorses, whooping. They seem to be playing keep away with a spear, although five are set up guarding a group of AMP machines and the doorways leading into the sleeping quarters. Banshees are perched on top of the satellite towers, cackling and squirming, while the riders explored the outside of the command center. A few human Avatars are trying to speak with the locals, in exaggerated hand gestures and laughs. Without the constant noise of machinery, it's amazing how clear you can hear.

Jake notices too, and with a word to Neytiri, the entire group of direhorses begins thundering down the forested hill. Within two minutes, a yell has sprung up and the mechanical doors appear, docilely open like an invitation. The Na'Vi pause for a moment, then break up to join their fellows inside.

It relieves me when I see Max on the tarmac speaking to one of the warriors, nodding and illustrating his statement with his hands. The Na'Vi is twice the man's height, with a shocking half-buzz cut and swarms of braids layered down the left side of his head. His grin is wide when Max shakes his hand. The human's curly black hair is comically swaying in the light breeze, and upon hearing us, he glances over. He waves and shouts in our direction.

Neytiri pulls me onto the direhorse in one stroke, situating me behind her; I don't even have time to feel the jerk before I'm trying to hold on to her stomach. With a nod, she excuses the few loyalists - apart from those carrying our bodies - who remain. Urging the steady animal forward, she canters straight to Max.

When I get there, I slide down hastily, ready to be let off. Neytiri shows her teeth in a soundless laughter and I flush. What am I supposed to do? It's awkward holding her like Jake would.

A few human Avatars dressed in scientist scrubs walk over and begin orderly taking the bodies from the warriors. They chatter back and forth, discussing the ease of going about the compound without the military schedule, machines, and paperwork now. Carefully working the large muscular beings onto stretchers, the four carry Jake and me around the compound, disappearing down a corridor leading to the Avatar Linking Room. I watch my body disappear. Will I ever be in it?

Max finally makes it to our side. "Norm, Jake! It's good to see you! I was afraid I'd have to fly on the helicopter myself to get you," Max says, shaking my arm wholeheartedly. His eyes are serious, although his voice is light. "Thanks for bringing them here, Neytiri."

She only bows her head as Jake salutes with his trademark grin. "Hey Max." Seriously, he asks, "Have the militia put up any fight? I want no more blood shed."

It's scary how much he sounds like Tom. I'll bet he doesn't even know it.

"None," Max says with a relieved sigh, "The Na'Vi arrived before our troops stumbled back here. I think with the Colonel disappeared, there's not a relentless drive to destroy everything that breathes. Parker has holed himself up in his office, staring at that hunk of unobtanium like he's going to commit to a year in Antarctica." With a motion to the Na'Vi he was just speaking to, he continues, "Dileep promised last night that they would guard the AMP machines and helicopter pads. The guard and gun rooms inside have been locked to all personnel. Actually, the only thing now that's open are the dormitories and the lunch room."

Jake's mind seems to ease; he leans back into Neytiri's stomach, nodding sharply. "Thanks Max."

The burden on my hip reminds me to get to my side of business. Quickly, I lean in to Max and ask, "I have some samples. They're from the Tree of Souls, and the surrounding flux vortex areas. Gra- I mean, Dr. Augustine wanted me to bring them back and let you help me study them. She thought there might be a connection biologically from the Na'Vi to the planet's energy."

"Bless her heart, Grace," Max says slowly. A light flickers on in the dark eyes of my fellow scientist. "Of course. I'm glad you made it back with them intact." He puts a hand on my shoulder and walks me toward the shelter.

We get twenty feet before Jake calls, "Is the link room open?"

Max fumbles in his coat before throwing an authorization card toward the two. "Now it can be," he says, eagerly beginning to walk away. Neytiri catches it like it is a dragonfly, and begins to study it while the direhorse stamps in impatience, irritated by the inactivity. My best friend waves to me, although there is a hard look in his eyes. I don't think it's directed toward me, but it stills bites hard.

I race after Max, calling out, "The electromagnetic pulses were insane at the very center. It must have been the heart, or at least one of the outpouring zones of energy." When I catch up, I steady the oxygen mask and continue, "I need to show you a recording of Grace's...death. There are readings that would interest you."

There's a moment of quiet as Max opens the sealed door, and a wave of stale oxygen hits me. We get past the screeners - scientists and Avatar drivers who are off-duty - and hit the tunnels for the laboratory sector. "Were the neural connections completely off the charts? Betty said from analyzing Grace's theories, the closer to the flux vortex, the more pulses per millisecond were active."

I'm gleeful. At last, somebody interested and willing to discuss theories and statistics with! "Yes. But instead of a wild, uncontrollable mass of energy, it's a defined pulse, like a pumping heart. You see, the Na'Vi tried to save Grace by merging her mind with the Avatar." Max gives me an incredulous look, but I continue, "The entire Omaticaya clan sat connected, with the neural tails locked into the ground, like plugging into a network. It was a prayer chant, but with every rotation of the population, a spike shot in the energy of Eywa. It stabilized Grace's heart near the end."

We walk into the lab, shooing away the few freeloaders playing VR games on the projector screens. I open the satchel, and pull out the tapes and electronic frequency measurers. "At that point in time, there was a lull of 400% back to the normal resting rate of 803,998,000 per second. Normal resting rate! Look at Sector Six's resting rates, and its close to 42,000,980 per second. I couldn't even get a reading at the spike of the chanting it was so high."

With one movement, I place the jack into the computer terminal. After connecting to the hard drive, the data pulls up in a list of obscure data: watts, hertz, amps. Max's fingers trace the measures from the past two months to the day of Grace's death. He swears under his breath.

"Norman, this is...pull up Sector Eight's pulses per minute. That's the farthest in we've ever gotten."

"I know, and look! It's not even point zero zero five percent of the magnitude this scale reacts to. There is a high correlation of energy output from the location of the injection or testing spot in reference to the Tree of Souls. This could power...I don't know, maybe the Americas for two hundred thousand years? Life power! This is a _measurable_ force of the Na'Vi. It might be worth more than unobtanium."

Max sinks into a chair, watching the replays of data spikes. I follow suit, satisfied that for once, my time here has paid off. Not only has imperialism been shot into the ground, but our science can continue to explore without too many distractions. Lieutenant Colonel Jameson won't let us have all the luxury in the world, but at least he's better than Quaritch.

There is a silent moment before Max asks, "Does Earth have one of these energy sources? We've never had the technology to test it. What if the Amazon was still in existence? There could have been a replaceable energy source to regrow the crops and trees."

The thought sends regret through my brain. Too late to know for sure, I think, because the only thing left on Earth are skyscrapers, power plants, and cloned sheep.

"How could we have plugged in, like the Na'Vi, though?" I don't want to burst the band wagon, but the shattered remains of Earth is a depressing thought.

Max's eyes glaze over in defeat, and then he says, "If we could fund research from out here, we wouldn't need to go back. With our findings, maybe we could convince a reboot of the Earth's nervous system. I don't know if it works exactly like Pandora though."

_It won't._

I sigh. "If there's anything I've learned from Pandora, it's that things can be healed. Trees, minds, hearts...and the Na'Vi know how to live without regrets."

Max doesn't respond to my strange words. Instead, he removes his glasses and rubs his forehead. I can see the creases in his face where frustration and exhaustion have left their marks. Suddenly, the lights seem too bright in the lab. I want to leave, and get fresh air. I want to play a game of poker by moonlight in a helicopter parked in the Hallelujah Mountains.

I want Trudy.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

I knew I wouldn't see Norm for a few hours, give or take. He and Max would be stuck in the lab, dealing with the details of energy readings and other scientific stuff. It would have been nice of them to get me a wheelchair.

Seated on the direhorse, Neytiri and I are cantering around the perimeter of the helicopter pads, silent. She has a look on her face that means the smell in the air was different. I assume the scorched engine oil and burning radiators make a terrible impression on a sensitive Na'Vi nose.

The steady rhythm allows me to think. She trained me in the ways of the People, and yet, she never asked about me. About Earth. There are so many things that Neytiri wants to know now, and I had decided to start out with the only part she knew: the helicopters and the technology that had devastated Home Tree. After this, she will know what she doesn't know, and what she wants to know.

Touching her arm, I silently motion for Neytiri to slow down. She does so, glowering at the AMP suits we pass. They are strewn across the ground like the pilots didn't have enough energy to make it into the oxygen enclosure. The _pa'li_ screams, and Neytiri asks, "These work how? They are just machines. Metal. No life."

I shift. "There is a process called combustion. It is when a chemical reaction occurs between a fuel and another chemical. Fire is the result, or energy." I peek at her face, and she seems to understand. Nonetheless, I continue, "On Earth we put oil and gas - which are made from animal and plant remains - into machines and through a process, energy is changed. I'm no scientist, so I can't explain fully what happens. Recently, humans have come up with electrical and solar charges to help power these machines."

"I do not understand," she says suddenly, "Why can you not ask for Eywa's energy? Why must you drive these things with death, when animals are alive?"

This is it. I must tell her how different we are, to bring in individual greed, without the community. Slowly, I say, "Well, we used to ride horses and use the animals for everything. We were once like the Na'Vi."

"Why change?"

I laugh. "Neytiri, we physically cannot connect with the Earth." I motion to the back of my head, rubbing my palm down my skull. "There is no way to communicate. Many have tried, and many say they have accomplished a 'spiritual enlightenment'. But since scientists cannot prove this, humans do away with that idea. They believe...that..."

Her long fingers began massaging my neck, curiously exploring for any sign of the nerve tail. The way her hot fingers trace the muscles makes me lose my thoughts. She stops, smiling at my reaction.

"You vixen," I murmur, smiling back ruefully. She presses me close, ready to listen again. "They believe that one is more than many. Imagine if you desired the _ikran_ of another-"

"Jake, I had Tze'ze. Why would I need a brother's?"

"That is how humans think. They want what others have, that can make their ways a whole lot easier." I don't mention only a year ago, I had feverishly desired working legs. That I had done everything that I could do in this stage. I didn't tell her that part of the reason I had come to Pandora was to gain enough money to fix them. "Okay, what if you could only ride a _pa'li_? You would want to ride an _ikran_, right?"

She nods, blinking slowly. "But if I ride another _ikran_, I would not need to ride a _pa'li_."

I could see where this was going. The People had no trade, no need to want what others had, or no concept of owning something. Everything belonged to Eywa. I understood her, but she did not understand humans. I waited for a moment, and said slowly, "Humans are different than the Na'Vi. There are those with dark skin and light skin, with chickens instead of cows, with different ways of seeing the world. They are always fighting."

"You fight because you are different?"

"Yes." I hesitate, then hold her hand. She is frowning deeply. "Our God is fought for. Some humans believe he exists, others think he doesn't. Even those who agree he exists fight because they think the others defile him. All of the People know Eywa exists within Pandora. They respect her. She is everything there is," I explain, seeing the lights begin to flicker in her eyes, "Humans cannot know, so they assume their way is right. If we were connected to Earth, we would understand the planet."

The _pa'li_ is anxious around the machines; it twitches and snorts, hooves clacking harshly on the cement. Neytiri's hands subconsciously allow it to sidle closer toward the razored fence, allowing it freedom. I grab the nerves of the other antennae, and say, "No animals have this. Hell, no human knows what happens inside of them. We are never connected. We are alone."

Her frown is sad. She is close to tears when she paraphrases all of what I've told her: "You do not see into Eywa on your planet? You do not know of the balance of life and death?"

The thought makes me sick, but it is accurate. "Yes."

Neytiri stops and stares at the fence we are now roving around. The jungle seems unobtainable from inside the barrier; I know her heart quivers at being stuck with no clear path back to home. Without a sound, the direhorse begins to gallop, whinnying in a harsh cough. The sound of pounding hooves makes my heart begin to beat in time.

We burst out into the treeline and Neytiri's jaw is tight. Her anger is clear and sharp. She will wait a while before she will speak to me. I know her that well, at least.

The fresh, biting air is relaxing. It's something real against my body, instead of the artificial air flowing through the breath mask. Even though I can't feel my legs, the horse lets me know that Eywa is with me. Rich dirt churns up smells of Home Tree.

I realize we are racing around the final curve before the Avatar training grounds. My mouth opens on its own accord, but by then the horse has leaped over the tangled brush onto the perimeter trail.

The complex spreads out in front of us: the basketball hoops, the ropes courses, the home-grown vegetation in the farthest reaches, and the huge open-aired dorm near the center of the land. Everything is simple, with none to little amounts of metal. Closest to us, the link room door is shut, clearly locked down for the afternoon.

I glance up to Neytiri. Her breath has stopped and she seems unsure if what she's seeing is real. "What is this place?" she demands, hands guiding the _pa'li_ in close to the rough wooden rails.

"It's the Avatar Training Program's bunker," I smile, eyes drifting over the bushes chock full of purple fruit. My feet tingle just remembering how I ran down the long rows for the first time. Liberation dances in my heart. I am close enough to my body that it would only take a blink.

We sit in the quiet. Human-Avatars dressed in large t-shirts and shorts are running around, exercising in the lush vegetation. Three are huddle by the ripe fruit, gathering baskets full of the pleasant substance. Neytiri's face frowns again, and she says, "I do not understand the mind in the body. How do you dreamwalk? I want to see."

A streak of fear races down my back. I didn't think she'd actually want to see the process of linking up. What would she think, when she sees where I am when I learn from her?

Neytiri immediately takes my face in her hand. Through the mask, her eyes are slightly wide. "Jake," she whispers, "My Jake. I want to know where you go. I want to save you."

I take a deep breath. Yes, she deserves this. "Head over there."

'There' is the basketball hoop, net frayed from the constant use. Even the asphalt has cracks in it where the plants have broken the layers of crushed rocks. It was the first thing I saw - after being blinded by the sun - when I exploded into my new life.

My eyes lock onto a clothed, obviously human-driven Avatar. She's standing with a hand on her hip, studying the hoop like she's about to perform surgery. The orange long-sleeved shirt and tan shorts must be extra, extra larges to fit on her broad shouldered frame. Her mouth is comfortable in a smile upon seeing us. A basketball is in the palm of her hand.

I give her a nod, "Hey. How's your day?" It's more polite than I usually would be, but if I play this right, she'll be a friend and get the damn door to the link room open.

"Just shootin' some kick ass hoops." She bounces the ball, winking. "You're Jake Sully."

_What am I supposed to say to that?_ "Yeah, I guess I am. And you are...?"

She salutes in a half-hearted attempt at a proper military greeting. "Amanda Morrison, at your service." She's a scientist from her attitude upon seeing Neytiri. It makes me shift in irritation; I want quick results. Neytiri pretends to pat the horse, but really she's leaning over me, claiming me from this unknown woman.

"Can you unlink? I could really use a wheelchair and a way into the link center from out here."

The frown that fits under her cheek is lopsided; damn, woman! We aren't going to sabotage the link room! I need to get in it. "Look, if you know who I am, you know my Avatar body is in the hook up room. Call up Max Patel if you don't believe me. He's with Norm Spellman in the bio lab." When she doesn't move, I snap, "I don't have all day."

That breaks her concentration. Either it was my lackluster approach or the words I said, but with a glance towards us, she strides to the end of the court. Sitting down, she lays back in the grass and for all pretenses goes to sleep. Neytiri stares at her. Then she suddenly encloses my arm in her grip.

"She is...becoming human, yes?"

I nod, watching for the alarm lights to flicker on. I hope this Amanda can open up Grace's authorization codes to the outside; the cards Max gave me open into the link room just to the right of this. I want to make sure that Neytiri doesn't feel lost or misses the linking.

The lights don't come on for another two minutes. Once I see the outside door cracking open, I ask Neytiri, "Do you have the cards Max gave you?"

"Yes," she answers, dropping the ringing keys into my hand. She traces my tattoo, admiring the design. Leaning back against her, I feel her heart pounding. She's just as nervous about this as I am.

There is a mousy-haired woman with broad shoulders peering out the door with an oxygen mask fitted over her face. Despite my rude attitude, she waves us over, calling, "Here's a wheelchair. If you want, I'll talk her into the waiting room." She laughs subconsciously as we trot closer. "Sorry about earlier. Your body is in there."

Neytiri's face tightens. She's reluctant to let this other woman have me. I feel a surge of pride and love in my chest, and I touch her arm. Will this be my last touch as a human against her skin? It makes me exuberant. Soon, we will be free to be together on the same level.

Amanda lets Neytiri drop off the _pa'li_, then place me into the chair like I'm a baby. Her eyes seem distracted, like she can't get over this body.

I begin checking the brakes, then the wheels. This isn't my traditional rolling rack; it's a civilian chair probably lying around in case of emergency. I hastily rotate, then wheel it up the slope, my arms falling back into the rhythm. I glance back at my mate. She is smiling, but there is a hope in her eyes as Amanda motions her in the door, speaking to her in English. Probably something along the lines of 'get-inside-if-you-ever-want-to-see-him-again.' The keys are jingling in my hand as I reach the threshold.

It takes me a minute to plug in the code; Max double-secured it with three passwords. I type in 3376 before 2214 and finally 8876. With his personal card, the lock lets me in with a hiss of oxygen and ammonia mixing from both atmospheres. The door swings shut immediately. My mask itches, and I take it off, rubbing the lines off of my face.

The link room is just as I remembered it: spotlessly clean, circular metal, and a warm green glow from the portals. The smell of sterilizers nearly overwhelms my nose. It's silent like a tomb, although there's an administrator sleeping with a cup of coffee in his hand. Machines are running, a familiar hum vibrating the walls. I decide not to wake the guy. Instead, I roll over to the window on the opposite side.

It's weird to be on this side of the glass; I remember waking up and seeing Max frantically telling them to sedate me from outside. Everything is in proper order. The medical kits are packed against the white-washed walls, and the cots are pristine and folded with new sheets. Instinctively, my eyes are drawn to my Avatar.

He's sleeping, but Neytiri has settled beside him, acting slightly dysfunctional. Her tail is lashing out, close to hitting the wall. I tap on the glass; she lifts her head and watches me, frowning. Questioningly, she traces the ring around my face. I don't have the mask on, and she's wondering. I place my hand on my chest and breathe deeply. She understands, and comes to the window, fingers curled around the ledge under the window. Those golden eyes suck up the room. When she swings her head, the beads clank against the glass.

It's so hard to continue. I don't want her to see this, to know where I've been.

But my body is right there. So close.

Biting my lip, I swing the wheels over to the far left, where a link portal is open. I glance back to make sure she can see what's happening. When we meet our eyes, I put my knuckles to my forehead and bring my hand down. I see you. She smiles, the anxiousness gone.

I tap the correct buttons to bring it up to working order. It hums comfortingly, and I put Max's verification hanging on the panel. Hastily, I crawl up into it, lifting one leg then the other in. The warm, pliable plastic is keeping me steady as I lay back down, pulling the monitoring system over me, then the outer crib.

It's dark. I can hear the whirring of electronics in the back of my mind, static. As my mind goes back, I swear I can hear Neytiri swearing angrily. The light zaps me through the connection with a snap, and like always, I first feel my heartbeat, then my legs. Within seconds, I can feel my fingers, eyes, and tail. It's calming. It tells me I'm back in my real body.

I open my eyes to see Neytiri's front pressed against the glass. Her back is turned to me. She is murmuring, staring as the portal continues to spin as it calibrates my movements. Grinning, I rise off the bed. My legs are strong again, ready to turn on a dime. It feels more comfortable than it should be. Playfully, I tug on her tail.

She whips around, and freezes. I touch her arm, rubbing my fingers up to her elbow. It is exciting my body again, telling me that I can do everything with her now. Her eyes are shining. To her credit, she only looks back at the machine once before she presses close to me.

I'm taller than her; she fits into my body like it's a perfect match. I run my hands through her hair, exulting in the finer sensations. My superior eyesight notices the subtle changes in her jawline and her ears as they weave to catch sounds. Her body twitches. Without meaning to, I breathe in her scent: the woods, water, and me.

Tracing her cheeks, I hook my fingers under her chin, kissing her softly. Lips deepen into mine, before releasing to kiss my nose and chin in a flurry of love. Her fingertips rub up my chest, holding my shoulders firmly. My teeth bare as I playfully nip her neck, breathing against the blue skin. She growls and kisses my ear.

God, it feels so good! To be able to hold her against me, matched equally, has become my haven.

As if she can hear my betraying thoughts, she shies back, head bowed. "I am sorry I show nothing to your human."

Damn. I just shake my head. She shouldn't be worried about that; I was worried I wasn't pleasing her. How could she love a cripple? The thought makes my grin show my canines, a fierce killer smile. She cocks her head, and nudges me with her nose, urging me to speak.

"I was worried about pleasing you," I laugh, too breathy, "That body is not meant for you." I grasp her perfect hand, tugging her away from the viewing window. I don't want to think about it. About myself. I want to be with her in the forest, under the stars, just the two of us.

But now that she's seen me, there are doubts curling in my mind. If we mate, what will she see? Will it be my Avatar body, the one that she truly loves? Or will it be a paralyzed marine drooling in an electronic link center? I don't want to make her awkward. With a hard look in my eye, I bang out the metal door, pulling her with me.

The light spots my eyes. When I can see, Amanda is playing basketball, slam dunking it in her awesome body. Seriously, it's a vertical of five feet! She gives a pleasant wave, but doesn't speak as Neytiri stalks behind me, glowering at her. I wave back. As much as my human kin helped me, there's no way in hell she comes between me and Neytiri, as the latter seems to think. With a flick of my tail, I kiss my mate's cheek.

It assures her.

With a leap, I begin to run down the agility course, taunting Neytiri with a hoot. The wind on my face is warm, urging me to run faster. Dirt clenches in my toes and the air whistles past. The muscles under my skin feel strong, almost too powerful. Like a jaguar, Neytiri is right under me, flipping and sliding through the huge wooden beams like it's nothing. Even the tires give her no pause; with one hand, she hand-springs through the set of sixteen and passes me. I roar with laughter, feeling the fresh air pounding through my lungs, no longer inhibited by the oxygen mask.

Life is back!

"Neytiri!" I call, grasping her wrist as she nearly shoots past me. When she whirls around with a grin, I kiss it away again. Our breath becomes one. There is so much joy I can barely contain it. How could I ever be human after this?

"_Skxawng_!" she hisses and playfully smacks my jaw. Her smile is sweet, like a piece of fruit. I give her one more mind-blowing kiss, then lace my fingers between hers.

Gently, I pull her close to me, my mind strengthened. To ease my doubts, I want to tell her everything. I search for a shady place, where both of us can fit in solitude. The one I find is a small stretch of grass hidden under a flowering tree. The leaves are bright purple and blue, and they expertly block the sun. I want to explain my human life to her, so she realizes what I gave up. It will be difficult, and it will be worth it.

I spread myself out on it, stretching and simply breathing. Smiling, Neytiri lays down next to me, beautiful face nuzzling my ear. It's a warm day, and continuing to get hotter. Like always, I take her hand, sandwiching it between mine. 

Her golden eyes mirror mine. "Jake," she asks, "Tell me about your life on...Earth?"

Memories flow back, but they are foggy. I remember my mother's soft brown hair, my father's rough hands, and Tom's ceaseless laughter. How could I show her the happiness before my time in the military?

In a stroke of inspiration, I grasp her braid, then mine. Together, they lie in my hand, complimenting each other in shades of brown and black. I hesitantly place the nerves together, and suddenly, the world opens up in a burst of colors and feelings. It's bright and pure, with memories bounding from one mind to the other. Eywa is in the back of my mind; through my numb lips, I say, "_Tsahaylu..._"

Neytiri's lips part in awe, and her eyes roll into her head. I kiss her hand, bringing her back to the present.

Focusing, I bring up the memories of my mother and father, and Tom. Through a haze of millions of emotions, I firmly picture my family: my father with an arm around mother, squeezing her with a tender smile while Tom and I wrestle on the floor. It's like a photograph embedded in my mind. Immediately, I feel the question in her mind: _Who are they?_ She knows I love them, because now my heart is beating in hers. Together, as one.

_Tom._ In my mind, I focus on his face, and she's shocked it is identical to mine. _Twins_, I think proudly, _We are the same. But he was a scientist, like Norman, like Grace. He knew the language before he came, took classes for nearly ten years, and he was going to be part of those who studied Eywa._

In a flash, Neytiri understands the hardships Tom talked to me about: spending hours in the medical room, being tested both mentally and physically; studying late into the night, in classes surrounded by others who wanted to go to Pandora; having no time with any family or friends, except when I was lying in a hospital bed. In my mind, I realize Norm would be there too.

Suddenly, Neytiri's memories wink into existence, overlapping mine. Norman had said something to her while she cradled my body close last night: that I had never spoken of Tom, or being paralyzed, to anyone here. A tender question of _Why?_ is directed toward me.

The pain, I whisper, and carefully, I think of the way I stared down at Tom's body in the company cardboard box. Tears pour down her face as she waits with me while the RDA Administrators convince me to join the Avatar Program on Pandora. A bitter thought pops into my head before I can stop it: _I was never meant to come._

Before I can explain further, Neytiri's heart has panicked. _You would not have come?_ Her eyes fall into a strange trance. _I would never have met you._ Her hands clasp mine, and I nod, touching her face with my fingers. I desire to kiss her, and before I even finish the thought, she is pressed against me, lips feverishly kissing my lips. She heard me. Pulling away, I smile, and the pain vanishes.

She heard me. It's been some time since anybody, even Tom, has been able to give me what I need. She knows everything that I think, everything that I feel. There are no boundaries; we are mates. I never thought...ever...that I'd have somebody this close. And it's a nice feeling.

When the world calms again, I hear her thoughts about my paralyzed body. She doesn't understand why I stare at myself like I am dead. Slowly, I take a deep breath, hearing my mate take one as well.

_I was born being able to walk in that body._ Her eyes are soft, encouraging me. _I was a warrior, for the humans, like the ones we fought against, when I lost the ability to stand on my own._ A flash of utter pain and hatred come to my mind, showing the spray of bullets as I dive into the Venezuela underbrush to block one of my comrades. _My legs simply do not function anymore. They were taken away._

Visions appear from Neytiri's mind: a _pa'li_ born without a leg, an _ikran's_ wing shredded by a hungry _toruk_, and one of the People no longer breathing from a fall off the mountains, legs twisted in horrible patterns. There is so much pain coming from her I lower my head in agony, living the flow of Eywa with her. _There is no perfect world here_, she whispers, _but it is natural. There are no machines._

I laugh, but it doesn't reach my eyes. _Human doctors can fix a spine break. They could fix my legs. But I didn't have enough money. If I came here, I could get it from the human commander - kinda like having many fruit for the horses._ Together we glance toward the _pa'li_ we arrived on; the creature has made an enormous circle around the compound, sampling even more nectar.

Uncertainly, she touches my face. It takes me a minute to realize she's talking about the money I would have received; the concept is hard for her. I am serious when I touch her face back, focusing on her eyes. She is scared, that much I'm certain. _No. I am not going to fix those legs, ever._ Fear fades from her eyes, and she sits up straight with a leg linking mine.

An idea floats into my brain, almost forcibly. _Can I do what Grace can?_ Excitement erupts from Neytiri's mind, brighter than sunshine. I smile as Neytiri says, _You are strong. You will not fail at what Grace did. If this body _ \- her hand touches mine - _is more to you than the human, Eywa will grant your wish to be one of us. You will be able to be free._ She takes a giant breath, and says fondly, _I will miss carrying you around as mine._

My heart suddenly jumps and begins pounding in the way she says it. _Mine._ Laughing, I press my forehead to hers, gently kissing her lips. I dare to think, _When we find home, maybe, maybe we could have-_

_Children_. The feeling of the word swells in her breast. I can feel the way her body aches for me, and I send her the thoughts of my human body, the frustration when I could not touch her in the way I wanted. It's another positive of being in one body, not two. It would be me, not my mind.

Yet another question comes to me: _On the morning after mating, were you in your human body?_ The thick, choking emotion of fear makes it hard to breathe, and concerned, I ask her to show me what happened. She's hesitant as her thumb strokes my fingers. I don't think she'll answer.

For a moment, there is silence. Then, the noises and sounds and sights hit me like a ton of bricks.

_Thundering, I hear the sound of the bulldozer, then the way I continued to sleep, unaware. I see the trees falling within feet of me, crushing other vegetation. I hear Neytiri's screams, her pleading with me to wake, her tears as everything she loves seems to be ripped from the earth. I feel the prayers to Eywa in my chest, hoping for help, for the Sky People to stop. Confusion. Fear. Pain. Then I see my own eyes wake up, and it is lessened. I feel the utter agony like my heart is being ripped from my chest as the Trees of Voices are crushed under machinery. I feel her pride as I race like a warrior to the cameras atop the bulldozer, and the crushing defeat as Eywa is struck down._

_Yes_, and I show her Grace's quiet smile, forcing me to eat gruel, and my own impatience to get into the chair. She sees Norman, settled comfortably in my jacked wheelchair.

At first, her anger is clear, the sharp biting heat in her chest. I let her fume in her own mind, feeling the betraying sensation come back. _How could I have known?_ I wonder. There are so many 'what if's'. What if Norm hadn't kept me up late, trying to get out the details of my night? What if I had simply gone to bed sooner, and woken earlier? What if I had stopped the advancement on Home Tree when I had first arrived? I feel like shit.

A warm hand brushes my cheeks. Neytiri had been listening. She knows the hate of my other half now, the reason why I want to be in this body forever. I want to be there. I want to protect her. I want to be one of the People, sleeping when I need, not floating in a haze of dozing. I want to wake up for real with her in my arms.

I struggle to speak out loud. It's strange to hear the conviction of my words coming from my mouth and the wild desperation in my mind. "I'm here now and I won't leave." I press my forehead to hers, taking a calming breath. "I'm yours."

It is quiet, smooth inside our minds. My thoughts begin to drift, and I wonder how I even survived my encounter with the _palulukan_. Neytiri perks in surprise, and she rudely calls me a _skxawng_. Then I hear her thinking to herself. If Eywa hadn't intervened, she might have killed me too. I laugh at her shock and I tease her that she just wanted to watch me make a fool of myself.

With a smile, she shows me how I looked when first riding a _pa'li_.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

I did not know how strongly my Jake felt about his "Avatar" body.

We are striding around the human camp, and my thoughts are a jumble of new information. "Jumble". Would I have used that word if I had not been inside Jake's mind? The _tshaylu_ was not as strange as I first thought. It was peaceful. Loving. But Jake is not as close to us as we believed. It does not mean I trust him any less. But his mind is alien...his emotions were complicated and subtle, like the many layers of a deep forest.

Jake's mind...I have never been so close to one person. My hand is intertwined with his as he leads me around the sweet flowers and fruits. He has been showing me the places where the Avatars are usually kept. It's little more than a wooden shack, like the metal link box. Some are in there, covered with blankets. I pay attention, and yet in the back of my mind, I feel him, as I did Tze'ze, before she was killed. Even if he were by the plains, I would be able to feel him.

I like this.

"Jake," I ask, "How long will these bodies live on? Many...years?" I struggle to find a Na'Vi word of time, but there is none.

My mate shrugs, a wry grin spread across his face. He loves this body, I know, as much as he loves me. "I dunno. I hope for a long time. The human DNA may make it...less." A streak of curiosity spills through me. A normal life of the People may last a hundred years, not so different from a Sky Person. I say so.

The words make an impact. Jake pulls me up to him, strong arms soothing. "I do not want to part," he admits, stroking my back. "I would endure, for you."

Heart pounding. It makes my head swim with warmth...and irritation. "I would not ask you to," I state, brows furrowed. "I would go with you."

He sighs, and drops my hand. With a sharp look that stings, he asks, "Would you want to die if my human body was incapable? What if you had to live here for the rest of your life, with a cripple? If we had lived in the forest, you would have had to carry me everywhere. You would always be worried if I had been eaten. What kind of way is that to live?" I know the deep anxiety he is feeling is making him angry. It doesn't mean I am not angry either.

I snap, "The _tsahylu_ told you nothing?" I stalk away, clearing my head before I say more to hurt him. He will not let his fear of his human go. It is a terrible way to go through life. I hope he understands this makes me angry.

To my mellow surprise, he does not follow. I listen carefully. Instead, he seems to swear and his footsteps disappear in the grass, fading away like rain. It is good, to have space. We love each other deep and are mated. He spoke of the future with me. He will come back.

I begin to jog over the 'compound', eyes seeing human objects for the first time. No longer is it 'metal-trees' or 'dead-earth', they are "RDA Communications Towers" and "concrete." Such simple things, simple words for things that keep these humans able to hold peace within themselves. They are frightened of the trees and the animals, of the way of skill and talent. They need simplicity.

It does make the journey to the main yard easier for me, to think of these instead of Jake. I want to find Norman and speak with him. Connected in Jake's mind, I saw where the sadness had come from, even if my mate did not. I saw through Jake's mind the way Norman's eyes lit like flames, how he teased her, and slipped out the door when Jake thought he was relieving himself. Norman loved Trudy as I do Jake. I want to speak with him and heal his worries.

There is plenty of movement in the yard. Riding on _pa'li_, my People are throwing sharpened spears with hoots, training their minds with teamwork - this is what humans call 'hand-eye coordination'. _Ikrans_ crawl up the barracks and the command center like they do cliffs, simply exploring strange new things while their riders do the same, sharing experiences with Avatar-driven Na'Vi. I notice the 'drivers' are open to learning by watching, although some are rude in explaining how our world works.

Then, it happens all at once.

A door blasts open, revealing six humans holding machine guns. They are Marines, hard-pressed men like Jake, but they are frightened - their eyes are white from where I am standing. In two seconds, the front men open fire.

Malakai, who threw the stick, is blasted from the _pa'li's_ back. Dileep, who received the stick, roars like thunder and whips the spear to stab a human through his heart. Seated on the dorm window above the men, Janquil has already sighted and killed another human. The _ikrans_ screech, and my People lazily fingering their bows have drawn back the string, fitting arrows in. My heart explodes in pain and grief, but I have followed the others by notching an arrow into my bow. I do not speak; if I do, I will cry.

Four mere humans have made it to the perimeter. They are pressed down behind crates of supplies, including more death guns. My vision blurs to red for a moment; Tsu'Tey was killed by a blast such as these guns make. Hair bristling on my neck, I feel my arm stretching back, ready to let the winds deliver my arrow.

The link I have to Jake is suddenly bright with anger. And it is strong, because he is standing next to me.

"STOP, DAMMIT!" he roars, ears flat against his skull, eyes wide in horror and fury.

My People do not shoot or even relax, but they obey by removing their eyes from their targets. I do as well. My mate may not realize it, but we have all instinctively trusted. He stands so tall and so powerful. My heart stirs. Pride fills me like a drink of cool water. I know the others respect his judgment, because he is Toruk Makto.

One human, huddled primitively behind the crates, yells, "We're not leaving until we get a bag of unobtanium! We aren't going back broke!" A patter of feet come, and a head is poking up, staring straight at Jake. I feel him tense.

"You're a piece of work, you god-damn traitor!" the human screams, "Strutting around, thinking you're important!"

He is important! To me! A deep throated growl erupts, and I hiss, clenching my bow tighter. The mere human shuts up, ducking below the vision of our warriors. Jake does not rise to the threat. He yells back, "I WILL NOT STOP THEM. If you want to die, BE MY GUESTS. IF you WANT to go HOME TO YOUR WIVES AND CHILDREN, THEN SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET BACK IN THE DORMS!"

A battle cry rises through the air, and a human leaps out from behind the crates. Bullets are flying like the birds near the waterfalls. Without meaning to, my hand lets the arrow fly. It is buried in the man's chest along with three other arrows. Blood sprays, and with a choke, the man falls to the ground, struggling to breathe. I remember Quaritch in his AMP suit. My lips sneer.

It only takes seconds before all the remaining humans' hands are in the air. The Na'Vi do not understand the sign, but I do, from Jake's memories: surrender. I shout out a halt, so my kin do not kill more innocents. Jake sends me a glance of admiration. He walks toward the humans.

The sound of feet alert me that someone is behind me. I turn, bow at the ready. I am relieved when it is only Norman and Max. Both look harassed.

"Neytiri!" Norman shouts, "A few men got into the gun storage bulkhead."

I nod, motioning to Jake, who is breaking the guns with his bare hands. Two other warriors are herding the weak humans back into the 'dorm'. Without speaking, Max and Norman show relief, rubbing their fingers into their temples roughly. "Thank God," Max whispers, and suddenly, I realize this is the entity that is to humans what Eywa is to us. Although I know he doesn't expect me to, I send a prayer to the dying God.

Jake is back by my side, hand touching my elbow. "Norman," he says, gratefully, "I'm glad you're here."

"Looking good, bud," the man says, eyes sad. I know his Avatar may never be complete again. It may not even be able to support his mind. This makes me hurt. If Norman feels as strongly as Jake for his Avatar, it would be a bitter blow to his heart. With the pilot gone, he must be in pain.

"We need to get them back to Earth. This cannot happen again."

I frown at Jake. Sometimes, he is still a baby. He cannot see what is hurting his own best friend. "Norman," I say clearly, chuckling at how he jumps at how clear I say his name, "I want to speak to you." When Jake opens his mouth to give me orders, I say sharply, "Find a pilot with Max." My legs send me to Norman, and I walk toward the fence, away from Jake. The small man follows, mask clanking on his jacket.

The green jungle is warm and loving, as Eywa's touch. I hope Norman can feel it. I wait until Norman shifts in confusion, eyes still focused on the concrete. I speak, "I spoke to Jake, about his brother." Eyeing the human's pinched face, I kneel to his level. He is shocked, looking ready to bolt. I believe it is because I am Jake's mate, and he does not want to be near me. I will make it short.

"She is with Eywa, Norman," I say, touching his shoulder with comfort, "and if Eywa will heal your Avatar, you may bond at the Tree of Souls to hear your Trudy."

At first, his eyes grow dark. "How did you-?" he snaps, before silence swallows up his question. I bow my head, and say, "I never met Trudy. But in Jake's memories, she is a fine warrior. I do not want you to become sick." It seems strange that I am consoling him, when last night he was consoling me about my mate. The pain is in my heart; I do not like to bring harsh news.

Norman blinks away tears before they even fall. "Neytiri," he speaks in monotone, "My body is dead. It was shot through the heart."

I frown. "Can humans not fix a bullet wound? How did you make the Avatars?"

Finally, the human sees what I saw. His face looks hopeful, but scared. I carefully place my hand on his heart, saying softly, "My brother, if Eywa has answered Jake, she will answer you. Fix the body. Make it so the brain can receive yours. We will perform a switch."

He is responding with a sad smile.

"No."

Now I am confused. Why had he refused?

"Thanks for your concern, but Trudy remembered me as me. Right now, I want to speak with her, not be in the body. I don't...I don't know what to do." He pats my arm. "I will learn to be without her in the future, because she's not coming back. Maybe I will heal the Avatar, but I need time. Thank you, for worrying." He leaves, his boots hard on the concrete.

I do not understand.

Perhaps I never will.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

As the dark falls, Jake and I walk into the luminous forest.

Wandering through the trees, my mind has eased its anger against my mate. I am calm, following the shadowy figure in front of me as we dance along tree roots thicker than my body. My hair is undone, soft around my face. I know that Jake likes it, because he keeps looking back at me with stars in his eyes. It makes me smile.

I do not know this part of the forest. It does not matter.

Pools of bright water wink up at us, sparkling against our skin. Insects are humming and buzzing, while dragonflies are twirling in warning as we move past. Even so close to the Sky People, Eywa is still here. I believe she never left.

My golden eyes meet Jake's. They are relieved, quiet. He is holding out his hand. I nudge it playfully, brushing past to lead him up a tree. We climb together, vines slipping in my hands. The bark is rough and real after such hardships today. My muscles obey as I pass the middle of the tree, mind bent on getting higher. Near the top, a branch is wide enough for two to sleep. I lay myself down along the moss.

Jake slips up the final branch, slightly panting. His smile is only for me. He places himself beside me, hands brushing the hair from my eyes. "Neytiri," he asks, holding up his braid, "May I?"

It is nice that he asks permission. I know not many would. I simply grasp mine, holding it out tenderly.

He connects them again, and instead of a rush of emotion and light, it is a soothing, quiet wave of peace. He is relieved that the humans are gone. He wants to sit with me, without a care. I do not need words, and so I whisper, _I want you_. With an impish smile, I kiss him.

A slight tremor moves through Jake's mind. _I am too tired_, he teases, _wait until I'm completely here_. Love is pouring from him like a river; thundering in his heart but calm. Unbidden, a vision hurts my head with the amount of information: millions of flashes of television and memories where two people are hugging or kissing, reunited or joined. All are saying, _I love you_.

I am so absorbed in the memories. I can feel Jake's embarrassment for knowing these things, and quickly as they come, they are gone. I laugh, teasing, _You are not supposed to watch these things?_

Jake smiles, and nuzzles me, pulling me so close I can feel his heartbeat. _Men are considered babies if they watch these things._

I gently show him a picture of Home Tree, when he was trying to tell us that the RDA was coming to destroy Home Tree. I replayed the way he said that he loved me, desperation and unconditional love shining from his face. _That was hard_, I whisper, _I did not return your love. You did not give up._

He takes a breath. "I love you," he whispers, putting his face in my hair.

The words are truth. It makes my heart fill with love.

The sun is completely gone. In the twilight, I hear nothing but Jake's pounding heart. I close my eyes, gently detaching my braid. Slowly, I feel sleep pass over me. But before I am gone, I whisper to him:

"I love you."

0

0


	3. I Am Me

#### -Neytiri-

Sleep leaves me.

The sun will not rise for some time. Rays of light hit my spots, warming them like I am under a curtain of jungle leaves. My eyes flutter. I am awake. The tree beneath me feels stable and real. I want to stand and stretch, then leap wildly into the air, calling on Tze'ze. A streak of pain hits my heart, thinking of her. Perhaps today, I can slip up to the mountains. I want to bond with an _ikran_, even if it will not be my beloved.

At my side, Jake is silent. I hope he is not gone, but he must be. Gently, I shake him, and ask, "My Jake?"

He does not respond, only continues breathing shallow. In the past - before I understood the link - I cursed him for being lazy. With a smile, I touch his face. I know he is absent because his mouth doesn't move; when I touch him and he is awake, a grin is born. He always finds ways to tease me.

The picture of flying an _ikran_ sticks with me, as does sending Tsu'Tey's body. There are things to do today. I must begin, and I hope he will not miss me. The Avatar will be safe in the tree. Vines are tangled around the limb of the tree. I tug, then wrap them around his body. He is warm under my hands. I kiss his cheek. I check my bow strapped to my back. Then I thrust myself over the edge of the tree.

The air is a rush in my throat. I grab a vine, giving it one jerk; my speed slows gently and I twist my body until my feet face down. Animals are scattering and hissing as I barrel past their homes so early in the darkness. Yelling in excitement, my arms wrap around the vegetation, allowing my body to smoothly slide. I grasp the next one, knowing instinctively how the vines will be spread. After hitting seven more, I can see the ground. I land gracefully.

The ground has imprints of my feet. With my bow in hand, I begin running, allowing the darkness to spread out before me. The plants I pass flare with white light, disturbed from my motions. The purple is my favorite; it reminds me of the sky. I grin fiercely. A dragonfly sparks up behind me, wings a disc of light. The cool moss under my feet is soft and springy.

I run for a time before I find a herd of _pa'li_. One, a male, is peacefully sleeping, head lowered as it stands on all legs. It snuffles, eyes winking into existence. I snap off a new flower, edging toward the creature. Eager to eat, it comes towards me. I connect my braid while it sucks the nectar up its long mouth.

A burn of light in my eyelids turns to a soothing connection. I am part of him now. I drop the flower, seeing how the _pa'li_ has sucked most of the nectar out, and leap onto his back. My hardened mind immediately directs him into a lope towards the Iknimaya. Plants slap at his flanks, his hooves pound like thunder, and the air moves between his lungs so quickly I can only hear a rush of breath. Together, we run, my heart pounding with his.

It takes many hours to reach the top of the mountains and longer for me to race through the floating mountains, finding the _ikrans'_ nest. It tests my strength. I do not even fear them anymore, as all children do. I know that I must hurry; the sun will be coming soon, and Jake will be waking.

I make no noise. Quick, I press against the rock. It is cold from the night and the misty water falling into the sky. My breath is smooth. I have no fear, no noise. Tsu'Tey and I came together long ago in the dark, not the sun like many warriors. We used our skills of stealth. It was a peaceful way, a way of ability. I think he took young warriors in the day to frighten them, to make them believe in death.

The _ikrans_ are settled, huffing in sleep. Like a pack of flesh-eating flies, the creatures leave the bones of animals all around. Noises of popping jaws and scraping nails hit the flesh on my neck.

I take a silent step out onto the rock ledge, the bola in my hand heavy. There must be no mistakes; I do not have time to stay all day and chase the banshees. My mind is strong and I can tell any youngling _ikran_ how to fly with a rider.

Slowly, I begin nickering to the creatures, cajoling the close ones awake. With their fierce eyes, they hiss and flap their wings, startling their neighbors. Before I can even get close, three take off immediately, squawking like disgruntled children. Muted colors swarm before me: purples, blues, yellows, reds, and greens, all blacker than usual in the midnight light. A wing comes close to my face.

There.

One has not even budged; she is nearly orange, heavy-boned, with a grinning jaw. Her nostrils flare, and those yellow eyes stare at me, a growl beginning in the base of her throat. She coughs, needle-like teeth snapping. I am not afraid. Ears flat, I hiss back, waving back in forth to lure her closer. Her fingers clench the rock as she roars. Several _ikrans_ wake, tails lashing for a fight. The orange demon in front of me stares straight at me, head bobbing. I hiss.

Like lightning, she lunges forward. I screech, slamming the tie into her jaw. It wraps around quickly, but I have already leapt to her back, braid in hand. The exhilaration pulses through me, throbbing in my heart.

She nearly throws me off; Tze'ze did the same in play. I grip her spine, finally managing to tug on her antennae. My braid fits perfectly in within two seconds. The nerves hum together.

I feel her mind with mine. It is shocked, furious, and wild. No different than Tze'ze. _Calm_... I whisper, _Calm....Fusca._

She stops. Her supple arms lower and pull her wings to my side into a state of obedience. She questions me, wondering why she is tied. Gently, I explain that she is mine, and she will live with me, as my friend and comrade. Like a _pa'li_, she waits for anything to happen. I remove the tie and she clacks her jaws, stretching. She is ready. She understands.

I have heard stories of the People gaining second or third _ikrans_, and here I am amongst them. Tze'ze is a hurt inside my chest, but now it is being replaced by Fusca's warm beating heart. Her mind is younger, more open; she wants to play and dive, like the things she sees in my memories. She can see what we can do together. With a clack of her lips, she tries to nuzzle me. I stroke her jaw with a smile.

I leap aboard, legs fitting in to her chest. My toes grip her new skin, while my hands guide her head to the cliff. _Fly_, I think, knowing the way her body will work. She agrees, awkwardly lumbering into the sky. I hold on, fingers tickling her as the air roils over us.

I talk to her gently, showing her how to swerve left and right, how to dive and let the wind catch her. Her mind is eager, and she haruphs in mid-flap, like a laugh of enjoyment. The air is warm; the light is coming through the mist in streaks. I encourage Fusca to rise higher. The rush of wind makes my braids slap at my throat. She does so, surprised when I move my body to allow her room to flap. It is so natural. Instinctively, she caws, and we break up through the mist.

A round disc of silver is beginning to rise. The air bends around it. It is the brilliant sun. Life-giving, warm, tender. Like Jake.

In my mind, I feel Jake's conscious connect to mine. My mood lifts. Now that I have Fusca, I will return to him with pride. If he will have it, I can carry his human body to the Tree of Souls tonight, when the village is assembled.

With a caw to my _ikran_, we wing toward my mate.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

One thing I know I won't miss is this damn mush.

As I had rolled in, yells and shouts of welcome hit my eardrums. I gave a polite smile with a half wave. I shouldn't have because six of the interns swarmed me, while three ran to get me breakfast. The orange juice had fermented and the oatmeal had too much lukewarm water that it had gone soppy. I guess it's the thought that counts.

"Hey, Jake! What we doing today?" A blonde-haired kid is smiling at me with teeth wider than a cow's. I think he introduced himself as Jimmy Rigsby. "Norman said we'd probably getta watch a new ceremony tonight."

Max was supposed to come in at breakfast and direct the twenty one humans now staying in the complex. He hadn't shown up. Shrugging, I pick at the watery, cold oatmeal and feel my headache growing. "Max said he would talk to you about what's going to happen in the next few months. I've got things to do." I don't want to tell them the ceremony he's talking about is probably the one where I won't be a human anymore.

It's five in the morning. Under a solar-powered white light, Jimmy and Gerard and Catalina are discussing the finer aspects of the linking technology. I wonder if I can get a quick getaway and page Norman. We were going to talk about asking one of the People to carry my human body to the Tree of Souls tonight. I hate to leave Neytiri with my Avatar, but I think she knows what's going on now, if I won't wake up.

"Norm, my man!"

"Normster!"

"Hey, Norman! What took you so long?"

I glance around, and instinctively, I want to shush the others. My best friend does not look good; he hasn't taken a shower, there are huge bags under his eyes, and his smile is lopsided. Words catch in my throat when he stumbles over to the counter and mindlessly pulls a faux-grown banana out of a bowl. Norman hates bananas. He doesn't take anything else, even a cup of coffee. It alarms me.

"Norm," I say sharply, leaving my bowl of mush. He's started walking back the way he came, rubbing his eyes. Hastily, I roll the wheelchair around the metal table. It starts skidding on the tile; one of the wheels has lost friction. I swear. "Norman, slow down."

"What do you want Jake?"

His tone is biting. He stopped on his heel in the middle of the corridor with his fists clenched. Without meaning to, I reach out and grab his forearm. He rips it away before I have a firm grim. My lips press together. I take a quick breath, and say, "Norman, I know Trudy-"

"God, Jake! Neytiri noticed before you did!" His eyes finally meet mine. They are furious. "You have somebody who cares so much for you, but what do you do? You throw her affection away, like she's some toy!"

"Norm-"

"Do you even remember that you're human? All this talk of 'getting-back-in-the-Avatar-body' means more to you than Neytiri! You're a selfish Marine who only wants to forget his old life. I won't forget it. You can be sure of that! I won't forget the people who died to get this mission off the ground, so you can play Dances with Wolves with the Na'Vi. I won't forget that it was Tom that was supposed to come- not you!"

_What?_

My mind goes numb.

A look of shock comes over Norman's face, and his feet pull him away. He lurches toward the now empty dorms.

There's a peal of laughter from behind me and it sounds like it's coming through water. The throbbing pain of my headache now has words: Norman. Norman hates me. I try to think about everything causing it: my friend has been overworked, his Avatar has been shot, and Trudy...Trudy's death hit him hard. Were they going out? I'm a dick for not noticing sooner.

"JAKE!"

I jerk, flipping the chair around in irritation. "What?"

Max is standing there, mouth shaped in an O. His eyebrows have nearly shot up into his curly black hair. With his rumpled shirt, he obviously ran down here. "Calm down, buddy," he chuckles, shaking off my scowl, "I just spoke to Daines about getting a ship ordered out to the Tree of Souls. Everybody is going to go, for support." His hand clamps down on my shoulder. I have the urge to jerk it free, although it's nothing personal. Norman really put me on edge.

"Thanks, Max," I mutter, "I don't want Neytiri to drag my ass out there."

If the Cheshire Cat was real, Max would be a shining impersonation. "Great!" The shout pierces my skull. "I'm excited."

"You know," I suddenly realize, "The People may not allow you to sit with them. No outsiders allowed. It's still a little early, since the battle. And it's not just the Omaticaya. Nobody has gone back to the plains or the cliffs yet."

"Oh..." After a few blinks, Max asks, "Could you possible talk to them? They let Grace into the village, and now, you're one of their most important figures."

Somewhere inside of me, there is pride. I push it down with the thoughts of Tsu'Tey's death. "I was a war leader, not Olo'eyktan or Tsahik. Even if they want me to have the power, I won't take it."

Max's brow furrows and he rubs his neck. Like a toddler, he pouts his lips, and sighs. The clipboard hits his leg with a small tap. "Jake, I think everybody could learn from this. I mean, sure, they won't let us humans in, but not even in the Avatars? Come on..."

My irritation breaks like a stick across Quaritch's knee. "Max, is it always going to be like this? I can't tell you what will happen. What do you want?" The words spill from my lips, and it burns my heart like acid.

The corridor is silent, like a tomb. Max takes a breath, and pushes his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. He spreads his arms in defeat. "Norman...when Grace passed, he...took samples. I thought he told you..." He stares at my blank face, before raising his hands to placate me. "Jake, don't get upset. Norman was furthering the work and Grace! Grace wanted samples!"

I begin shaking. "You...Norman defiled the Tree of Souls by allowing him to take samples during Grace's death?" Somewhere under my affronted anger, I realize I am overreacting

The look on Max's face is a truthful one: he is not going to back down. "It hurt no one Jake."

"It's the principle," I growl. I know my anger is coming; the vein in my forehead is pumping hot blood. "You cannot -" My eyes burn through his "-cannot take this from me. I already let the humans destroy the Trees of Voices, and I will not let you into the most sacred site."

There is nothing short of surprise in the man's face. "Jake, what has gotten into you, huh? We aren't going to take anything from you-"

"Yeah," I spit, "And I'll bet that's just what Parker said when he first arrived." I furiously wheel away, heading for the link room. I feel betrayed.

_Betrayed?_ I reel in shock at the words in my head. Wasn't I the one that left being a human? My fingers clench the wheel tighter, feeling the ridges from the metal bite into my hands.

"Jake!" The shout echoes down the dimly-lit corridor. Max is giving one last shot, hand extended toward me. "We will do it right this time. There's only twenty-one of us, for Pete's sake." Although I won't turn my chair around, I can hear his voice. He has definitely given in about not viewing the ceremony. Guilt swims in my blood.

What am I doing? My head is split with pain. Norman's words echo through me: _Do you even remember that you're human?_ The walls are methodically moving past me as I push the wheels, and let them roll out before I push again. I'd be already there if I could walk!

Is that it? I want an Avatar for leg usage?

I've always coolly handled all of my problems with half-assed diplomacy and sheer will power. Why had I overreacted? Norman shouldn't have taken the samples, but what else are the humans going to do? They want to learn, just like I did.

Before I know it, I'm in front of the link room door. Since everybody's still at breakfast and the RA can't punch me in, I type in the codes with my right hand, bypassing Max's ID card. The feeling of metal is cold with the ventilation shafts blowing AC on the handle. I guess they've got to start early before it's a million degrees outside. Plus the machinery could use a little help.

With a little prodding of the door, I get inside. I roll down the box corridor, then slide through the automatic doors. They hiss with a rush of air, slamming shut. Biting my lip, I head for the link beds, muscles twitching in anticipation. This body has been getting weak, I notice. My arms, where they once would have lifted me in forty chin-ups for me, are twitching. The only positive of the degeneration is that my legs are useless anyway.

The cool glow of low-lighting eases my burning eyes. I blink, then slowly let the chair roll toward a link. It doesn't matter which one, since I know all the codes now. The rubber on metal is quiet, for once. Gingerly, I drum my fingers along the top of the bed. I don't want to go in right now. I'm angry, confused; I need to cool down. I refuse to let Neytiri inside.

She would not understand what's going through my head, right?

>em>Ah, another part whispers, _she saw Norman's love for Trudy in my memories before I even considered it - and I had been with them the whole time!_ She could tell me what she sees. She respects me. There's no way she would scorn me for something I don't understand.

I rub my hand over my face before staring at it. Although it's not blue, I am reminded of my Avatar's hand. His hand is the same structure, five fingers instead of four thicker digits. I can see the wrinkles from my childhood, the scars over my knuckles, the calluses in my palm. It strikes me deeply as this is my real body.

Norman knows how to stab the right spot.

I hastily push open the lid, right hand typing in the account data. Within seconds, the program is up and running. I pull my body up into the machine, then grasp my legs. They are like sticks; only the bone is left. The muscles are deteriorated. I'm glad that hasn't happened to my entire body yet. There's a click from the machine initializing. The soothing darkness fits over me, and I let everything fall from my mind. I need to find Neytiri. Lights flicker, and soon, I feel the rush of colors against my face. I'm being whisked away...

It's the heat that gets me before the light under my eyelids. Groaning, I roll over.

The view is gorgeous; the jungle trees are the skyscrapers, huge and looming, and insanely beautiful. A vine is loosely tied around my blue-toned waist. For a moment, I have no idea why it's there. Then I feel the bark under my hands, cool and rough. My back aches from the awkward position and Neytiri is nowhere to be seen. It strikes me as odd that she wouldn't be here when I woke up.

To my surprise, there is a dull ache in my mind. I shake my head as it dawns on me. I had a headache while I was in my human body from Neytiri's mind. She's been checking in on me through this low-frequency mental link. I laugh, the vibrations rumbling in my chest. The clear air cleans the mental lint from my head. Cawing and cackling comes from the animals down below, and I hear a roar further off to the north. The wind sways the tree. Serenity.

I wonder why I feel like this. Minutes ago, I would have bashed my fist down on metal in anger. Now, I am peaceful, listening, quiet.

Food. I need food. My stomach is gurgling. I throw off the vines, stretching my arms. Quickly, I latch onto the trunk of the massive tree, peering down below.

There are some mushrooms sprouting on the next branch down; the little bulbs are clustered around a sprout of blue leaves. Leaping, I roll when I hit the branch. It is soft under foot. My hands pluck the fungi from the tree, and I thank Eywa, closing my eyes. I begin eating, tearing off parts of the cap and stuffing them in my face. It tastes like salad back home; bland until you get used to it. I can taste the spices within the stalk and it makes me hungry for more. Another cap comes off in my hand. I eat it too.

I hear a call. It is sweet and sure. My heart grows light.

Neytiri.

Suddenly, a beast of orange and green erupts on the branch above my head, screeching. There are soothing words, and to my surprise, I can understand them. Neytiri chats to it in the language of her people, eloquent and pronounced. I peer around the tree, smiling. She is standing proud and tall, the _ikran_ smitten over her.

Uncertainly, the strange emotions from before come back. I must talk with her.

I head skyward to the sleeping branch, hands expertly gripping the tree. Neytiri sees me, and smiles, waving at me. She doesn't say my name, but she opens her arms when I reach her. I slowly pull her in for a hug.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

Something is wrong with my Jake. He did not call me by name. His eyes are hollow.

I frown at him, touching his sturdy frame. "What has happened, Jake?"

Reminding me of a lost child, he shakes his head, the look in his eye deepening. His hand reaches back, grabbing his braid, and showing it to me. There are no words between us. Slowly, I connect mine.

Things are dark in his mind. After a few seconds, a picture comes to me: Jake racing after Norman in his wheelchair. I feel his confusion and anger, so harsh it surprises him. I hear his friend's scathing remarks. Jake spends fifteen minutes by himself in the link room, debating on what Norman has said. And whether he should come back to me.

In his mind, Jake recoils at the weak thoughts, although I feel his physical hand grasp mine. He still has not spoken. Memories of defeat, laughing with Norm, and my anger from yesterday approach me, biting his spirit. Confused. He is confused.

I look deeper at his emotions. He is angry at himself, for being so angry. He is worried because Max wants to come with scientists and watch him through his transition from Avatar to Na'Vi. He is hurt with Norman because he took power samples of _Vitraya Ramunon_. I am shocked he knows what to call the Tree of Souls. Frowning, I realize the names of the locations he has been to have been erased with my connection to him yesterday. He is speaking my language, even if he doesn't know it well enough. This is from my mind. It is like me, when I nod my head in respect. I copied Jake's motions.

Then I realize our bond has caused this. Jake startles, gripping my arm tighter. He has become more like the People through me and I have taken some of his human in. My English did seem easier to relate yesterday. I understood time and distance in human terms. Not being connected cuts the knowledge only a little, but it remains within me.

A flash of insight comes from my mind. I take a deep breath, steadying myself, and place my hand on Jake's chest. He has been listening quietly, trying to see what I see. For that, he is wise. He realized that there are things he cannot know or do. Seeing himself is one of them. He trusts me to find it out.

"Jake," I say, the words in the air matching those in his mind, "You are human. Our minds are different. We love the same things, but see them differently. We feel differently. My anger is fast, then is gone. Yours simmers for a long time until you cannot contain it or it fades away on its own." I feel his shoulders relax. "Our bond, it...connects these. My fast anger meets your slow anger. We are emotional when it is unnecessary to be emotional. Many things are exchanged. Memories. Ways of dealing with people. Language."

I pointedly show him a memory of the Hallelujah Mountains this morning. _Iknimaya_, he whispers, eyes furrowing. The peace within him is surreal as he listens to my diagnosis. Holding my hands close to his chest, he kisses the fingertips, tickling me. I smile.

"So...this means we are closer than before." His smile is regaining confidence. There's a place in his mind that releases his anger. I draw his attention to it. He is getting better at handling my outbursts.

"No," I tease, "You are still a moron."

Jake's grin is back to normal. "_Skxawng_."

The silence is comfortable with the two of us together. There are still small flickers of doubt in his mind, but I hear him repeating my words over in his mind.

"I am here. For you," I say, putting my forehead against his. "I am your soul-mate."

A blossom of love erupts in his heart and he pulls me tighter, lifting me slightly off the branch. It makes me giggle, because I stole the word from his mind. I must have understood its meaning. "Thank you," he whispers, "And if anything comes up, I'll tell you. You helped me answer the questions."

Hesitantly, he asks, What about Norman and Max? What can I say to them? Max is harmless, but he wants to see the ceremony. At the word ceremony, his body quivers. He is getting nervous.

I blink, meeting his eyes. His eyebrows are smooth and unworried; he is only frustrated with Norman's behaviors. _Norman needs time. I think he will regret it if he doesn't attend his friend's ceremony. Talk to him and do not give up. Tell him how much he means to you._

A streak of irritation shoot through the link. _He said he wished Tom was the one who came._

The idea of no Jake makes my ears flatten back.

He hesitates. _Should I talk to Norman now?_

_No, no_, I show him a picture of flying with our _ikrans_. _I want to look for a home. Just look. No settling._

His hand encircles mine, and with a suddenly whistle, he grins. We wait in silence, staring at the trees' thick limbs and sprawling flowers. It is calming. A screech breaks our concentration. I deftly unhook from my mate as his _ikran_ comes barreling in like a wild child. Its jaws snap near Fusca, and she squeals.

"Wild child?" I ask, staring at Jake. It was the last thought in his mind.

He pats the jaw of the creature. "Yeah. Nickname." He hauls himself aboard, settled into his saddle. Loosely, his feet do not even hold the chest of his _ikran_, he is so comfortable. I grasp Fusca's connection; she remains calm, head waving back and forth. When I plug in, she is startled again. Yellow eyes blink while I tell her what I want.

In a rush of air, we lift off. Jake and his Wild Child are behind us. The light hits the trees in a shining warmth so bright I shield my eyes. Cawing, the two _ikrans_ flap near each other, hissing when the other gets too close. I smile a wide smile at the rivalry they seem to be enjoying. It is peaceful so high.

The land of Eywa rushes past. Hills rise and fall; the plants are muted to a dull green in the daylight. It seems so lifeless, compared to the vibrancy of purple and blue and white of the night. Winged creatures are traveling in groups, but dive when they see our shadows. We constantly look for Toruk. He is not here. The mountains in the distance are large and booming; many of the People are praying near the Tree of Souls.

Jake turns to the west. I put a hand to my heart, and continue to follow my mate.

We fly for an hour. My eyes watch for animals making nests, for how the wind blows in the hills, how tall the trees surrounding the land grow, and how far from a grove of Eywa's trees. I see our _ikrans_ eyeing the _Iknimaya_. All creatures have a desire to return home. It makes my heart throb in agony thinking of _Kelutral_. Jake must know pain, but he does not know the pain of seeing your home crushing your people around you, of seeing your father with a shard through his stomach.

Perhaps he is needed to help us move on. Eywa would not have chosen him just for a battle. With Jake, we can find home. We can become a People again and not splinters broken from Home Tree.

Suddenly, my mate raises a hand, yelling at me. Fusca moves to him on my command. I follow the line of his strong arm, looking straight into the deep forests.

There are a grove of large trees; thirty of them can fit into _Kelutral_'s base, but they are strung out like a chain in one line, close enough to leap from branch to branch. The crowns of the magnificent beings brush against each other and the stone walls that back them. I wonder if there are caves buried into the cliffs. To my surprise, I think I see a waterfall to the north.

It sits ill at ease with me. So simple to replace my home!

Jake is not smiling as wide as I thought he would. He knows the pain this will cause, if the Omaticaya journey here. It is small. The trees are young. Animals may live here.

When my mate looks at me, I shrug uneasily, motioning to further up the valley. Surely there must be something else.

It passes this way for two hours: Jake finds a place, usually brimming with life. There is one set into the rocks, trees growing at odd angles; a loud, noisy place of animals close to where the Tree of Voices used to reside; a broken tree creating a hollow large enough for our meeting hall; and a single tree - although small - standing close to a large lake. I shake my head. A place is either too large, too small, inhabited, open to the elements, or the voice of Eywa inside of me does not agree at all. I cannot understand why I am so reluctant. I want what is best for the People, do I not?

Fusca's breath is heavy. She needs rest. I allow her to sink lower in the sky and wave to my Jake. Within moments, we are below a heavy-ladened cloud of mist. It is cool and refreshing. The trees begin to take shape, and Fusca chooses the first one that we come across. The darkness relaxes her. Jake has followed. Together, our _ikrans_ land on a protected limb.

I leave her broad back, unconsciously pulling my braid from her. She clacks her jaw bones, eyes shaking. I fear she is getting confused with my mind; she has not had much time apart since this morning. I have pushed her far. Her orange hide is rough and peeling near where my feet plant. I will rub her with the healing leaves near _Vitraya Ramunon_.

Jake is leaning casually against his _ikran_. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he looks fresh. For a moment, I am irked. I am exhausted and his grin is too easy.

Then I laugh. I move to him, touching his chest. He embraces me, cheek on my face.

"No go on that first place by the cliffs and waterfall?" he asks me, stepping back to peer at my face. I notice he is hopeful.

My lips press together. "It is not _Kelutral_." Seeing his hint of frustration, I touch his cheek. "I have been asking Eywa why I cannot let go of...Home Tree. I think it is because I grew in it as a woman. It is the place I would have born my _'eveng_."

His heart begins to speed. His smaller, human eyes stare at me, and with a bite of his lip, he grins. "Would I have been the father?"

"Yes," I say simply. My heart grows sad. "I wished to teach a daughter in the branches of Home Tree. I wanted you to teach her English."

His lips spread in wonder. "Why?"

"Because, it is part of you," my hand pats his chest, "and I want my daughter to know about her father."

We stand together, our _ikrans_ breathing better now. His fingers slide between mine, a sensation that I love. It is a human tendency to hold intimately. I suddenly know that Tsu'Tey never touched me or held me like Jake. I still miss him.

"I want to see Tsu'Tey's...body," Jake says. I am surprised that our minds both thought of our fallen friend.

Moving to Fusca, I tell my mate, "Many will gather when the sun goes down. You should get some rest, as a human. Maybe it will give you time to convince Norman to come?"

Jake's face falls sourly. "I thought outsiders couldn't be allowed."

I shrug. "We allowed him to help you with Grace and-" I sharply say "-he is your friend. Mother knows his heart. He is harmless, and welcome, in our clan for the ceremony. Let us leave. I want to help with the bodies near Home Tree."

The wind gusts. Fusca caws, struggling against it. I clamber onto her back, waiting until Jake follows before telling her to rise. Her large wings catch the draft, and we are gliding up the way we came, into the sunshine again. It is still very hot.

It will be hard to send our dead to Eywa.

But I will love welcoming my Jake home.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

I have never felt so...alien.

With Neytiri at my side, we slowly pace up another ridge, revealing three more broken forms under the fallen limbs of Home Tree. Two are women and one is a young boy. Carefully, I let Neytiri murmur a prayer to Eywa, and we gently work the bodies free from the brush, touching their braids in a final farewell. I remember this on Earth, except I was the one being pulled from the rubble. Two warriors behind us are ready to take the Omaticaya to be placed in individual graves.

I don't know how this makes me feel. My human side knows the gravity of this situation: hundreds, if not thousands, crushed beneath Home Tree's massive trunk. I rail at the injustices, but I am helpless. So many lost...

My newfound understanding of the Na'Vi tells me that this is a tragedy, yet this will be healed faster than humans would accept it. As one of the People, I know Eywa will care for them, to take away the pain. The bodies we are finding will be given the proper rites including a seed from Eywa although not all of the clan will be there to send them off. There will be no mass burial for our People.

Slowly, I gaze up through the leaves at a portion of _Kelutral's_ trunk. There is one lone figure. Mo'at has been coordinating this all day. My mother-in-law is seated, hands laid docilely in her lap. Her skin is grayed from the lack of energy and her usually golden eyes are hollowed out like a shell.

I touch Neytiri's hand, then move away. My legs shift as I leap onto a branch, and basically walk thirty feet to where Mo'at is isolated. There are people below who glance up, but turn away when they see me sit beside the _Tsahik_.

Mo'at says quickly before I can greet her, "The People are like children: they need hope and a mother and father to keep them alive. You can only teach them as much as you know, and you can learn more." She turns to face me, hair swaying around her thin face. The spots on her face are dim and no longer lively.

I take a deep breath. "_Tsahik_, I...am afraid."

Her brow takes a steep dive. Her hand clamps upon my wrist. After a moment where my heartbeat pounds in nervousness, the four fingers release their grip. I peek at the needle resting on her chest, trying to keep my blue chin lifted.

"I am nearly your mother. Why do you feel afraid, when my daughter staves fear?"

Here it is: the moment of truth when I can lie. Or I won't. "I...there are so many things." I guiltily look down at my five-fingered hands. "The Omaticaya. Will we...they recover from this? Will we ever find a home? Will children keep being born with so many dead...?" I trail off.

There is a snort from the _Tsahik_. I stare at her; the woman is smiling, eyes slightly uplifted. Her hand juts out. "See Ni'vea? She gave birth two nights back to a healthy boy, in the ashes of _Kelutral_." Mo'at's voice is compassionate. "Jakesully. Those are not what you are worried about."

"Yes, I am worried!"

"Yes, yes, yes...but there is much turmoil within." She takes a slight bow of her head. "Are you concerned for my daughter?"

My heart patters. "...not particularly." When Mo'at says nothing, I murmur, "I'm worried about...if we..." I rub my head. "We went flying to search for a new home, and she said she wanted...look, can we have children? This body is not completely Na'Vi. Will my human genes screw everything up?" There. I said it. It's been bothering me since Neytiri said she wanted rugrats.

A hand touches my bicep. "You, Jakesully, are Eywa's chosen. Would she take the joy of rearing children from you? Neytiri loves her, and knows. When you are ready, this will happen." The _Tsahik's_ legs stretch out in the sunlight. I'm surprised the destruction hasn't limited out the air quality. The wind is fresh and welcoming.

"What more?"

I rub my forehead. "Max, one of the scientists that we allowed to stay, said that Neytiri will still inherit the title of _Tsahik_. He, uh, told me I would follow as _Olo'eyktan_." I turn to look at her impassive face. "I want to know what will happen, from you."

At first, she continues to stare into the wilderness. Then, she begins in a low voice, "My daughter will become the _Tsahik_. Tsu'Tey was to become her mate. You were not to happen. You did." Her voice slightly cracks. "Without Eytukan, I will not be able to speak to the tribe. Without you, my daughter will not be able to speak to the tribe. Do you know?"

"But how can they trust me? How can I know what to do? Children can do the job better!"

Her lips frown angrily. "You can learn! Any of the warriors may help you. What about my daughter? Is she a broken stick in the forest?"

"No. That's not what I was saying-"

"You told me once your cup was empty. Have you completely made it full?"

The fear hits me again, harder this time. "How can I make those decisions? I cannot have the fate of a people on my hands, Mo'at!"

She suddenly goes very still, a hand on her head. Her lips move slightly. Then she smacks me hard on my cheek. It stings as I recoil. "You led many people, not all Omaticaya, into battle that killed many," her eyes are sharp, "You could have prevented it. Who is to say their blood is not on your hands?"

Pain on my cheek stops me from immediately retaliating with a comment. Nobody heard the slap, but Neytiri is suddenly staring at me, eyes wide in confusion. Her mouth is pressed firmly together in disbelief. I motion down at her with a slight smile on my face.

"You love her. If you are to lead, you must love the People like you love her."

I nod, letting my gaze rove. I know only a handful of those praying and wandering around the dead. How can I love all of them equally? I find Ni'vea, the bones in her face strong and broad. Her arms are holding a child close to her chest, cooing to it. Her braids clack gently into his face. There is no way she would ever come as close to my heart as my mate.

To my surprise, Neytiri is looking at her also, a mix of fascination written on her face. It surprises me. Six months, no, closer to four or five, she was trying to kill me. She would have put a spear through my chest had I even looked at her. Or Tsu'Tey would have done it for her.

_Tsu'Tey!_ Another stab of deep sorrow hits me. I truly wish he had lived; if I need anybody's advice, I need his right now. How can I be a true man of the tribe? He grew up knowing that Neytiri was his and he began learning for his new position since he had been chosen. Hell, he had much more training than I did!

Then I realize: I need to say goodbye. I still haven't seen his body.

"Mo'at, where is the body of Tsu'Tey?"

The question hits her hard; she bows her head and says a quick chant. When she meets my gaze, it is the weary look of a leader who has lost everything but their dignity. "He is near _Vitraya Ramunon_, with the other warriors who fell in the battle." Short, but so heartfelt. I gently place my hand on her shoulder.

"Mo'at," I say quietly, "I'm sorry."

There are other things I could say: 'I can't imagine the pain of your position as you try to stay strong for others' or 'Eytukan did not die in vain' or 'If Neytiri died, I would be a basket case'. But those are cruel words that can only estrange us. Sometimes all you can do is provide a few words and a touch of a caring friend.

Tears have begun pouring down her face, haunting like when Home Tree was being destroyed. Her shoulders quake, and she bends over her lap, folding her arms in a tent to block the insecurity. I keep my hand on her shoulder to let her know I am still here.

I hear what she means. It really is my duty. Why am I allowing her to continue on like this, alone and the only pillar of support for the entire tribe? I was a strong marine. I am a strong Na'Vi. Can I not risk a few more challenges?

My fingers squeeze. "I will do what you ask of me," I say, my mind made up before I can really think about it, "As long as I am here, I am part of the tribe. I have a debt to repay. I will willingly serve, so that you may get rest."

Her head jerks up like she's on fire. Surprise fades into a proud acceptance. She says nothing, but nods. I'm glad she doesn't comment on my change of heart. Besides, won't it be a new adventure to keep me young?

"Mother."

Neytiri has scaled the tree, approaching us. She dances over the broken shards and bright leaves, laying her hand deftly on my hand and Mo'at's shoulder. The three of us are connected. It feels odd, to be the leaders in this crisis. My head swims with the implications. "Mother," Neytiri tries again, receiving no response.

The _Tsahik_ finally speaks. "My daughter..." and she rattles off in Na'Vi so fast I feel my brain hurt trying to keep up. I finally give up when Neytiri responds just as rapidly; she glances at me several times. Mo'at remains silent, stretching again while her huge eyes blink. Finally, she stands, pulling my hand with her. It's rather forceful.

"Come, Jake."

I am jerked to my feet, and I swiftly say, "Thank you, Mo'at. I'm glad you spoke with me." The response I get is a shooing wave, and Neytiri's grip on my arm is tightening. Either something went down or we've got something to talk about.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

I was concerned when Jake spoke with my mother. I do not know why. At first, I thought he was bothered by the dead. We have picked up more than a hundred bodies of women and babies for nearly an hour. Then I didn't know what to think when my mother smacked him like a child. I waited. Finally, I hurried to both of them, worried.

My mother had told me that Jake had consoled her about my father...and that she had not told him that she had lost two people, my sister and my father. Both had been killed by Sky People. It hurts. Someday, I will tell Jake. Not today. He had asked about Tsu'Tey. Immediately, I knew we must see his body, to send Jake's fears and regrets away from his mind. I had promised we would go that way earlier, and now, here we are, on the rise above the body of my once betrothed.

At my side, Jake is quiet. It is scarier than when he sighs or sets his jaw, because I do not know what he is thinking. We are sitting on a rock shelf with our legs dangling into the air below. There are hundreds of mourners surrounding a lone body on the ground, all giving Tsu'Tey a touch or a gift for his departure. His bow from _Kelutral_ was lost in the battle, but his saddle from his injured _ikran_ was recovered. We can't see him from where we stand.

I want to talk about him. I am sure Jake does too. Slowly, I murmur, "He was strong. He hated when even a child cried, showing weakness, but he cared for our People."

My mate is listening, head downcast. When I finish, and lean against him, he admits, "When I first saw him, riding that _pa'li_, I tried to run. He made me want to try my luck against a thanator again."

"Yes, he was like that," I smile, "He believed he could lead the People one day, to more hunts and feasts than my father. He told me once nothing would frighten him." I shift. "I think he was frightened as a baby when he found we were mated before Eywa."

Picking up a thin sheet of rock, Jake nods. His five-fingers smooth the sharp edges down. He smiles too, and glances at me. The look makes my chest heat; I know my cheeks flush.

"I never thought I had a chance with you. I figured you'd drop me once you taught me everything."

I meet his eyes, so much smaller than mine. "I liked showing you," I say, "Tsu'Tey knew that already. His cup always full." Gently, I touch his wrist, prodding the veins I see. "You were there because Eywa wanted us to learn together." I sigh and slap his wrist in boredom.

"I always wanted to...challenge Tsu'Tey. Not over our strength, or over you, but...roughhouse. Like brothers do on Earth." He looks away quickly. He stares at the body. "I think we could have been friends."

"Did you roughhouse with Thomas?" I ask quietly.

Jake sighs and rubs his forehead. His eyes squeeze shut. "All the time. He would never fight back though. He would just run away and hide before I could catch him. He got real good at it as a teenager. Tsu'Tey...he would have wrestled and fought." He looks back up at me, regret on his face. "But I didn't want to fight him, when I brought the news of Home Tree. I...wanted him to back me up, like Tom would have. And now I've lost two brothers."

I remember that day clearly: our rude awakening after a night of love and the terrifying feeling of defiance as I stood with my hand in Jake's. I remember seeing Tsu'Tey's face twist in agony. His voice cracked when he confronted my new mate. Not many would have seen it, but he was about to cry. To show weakness for me. His promise paled against Jake. Before the final battle, Tsu'Tey had been frightened that Jake would kill him, to strike him down and take his place. Respect and trust came when my mate asked for his help to defeat the Sky People. They were...civil. I had still be a point of contention. But Tsu'Tey would never have had me.

"You would have been heart-brothers," I say quietly. I can see them together, laughing and prodding each other as they race _pa'li_ or _ikrans_. Jake would have let Tsu'Tey have peace within himself instead of pressure.

Jake beats his fists together. "I wish I could talk to him. To let him know that I will...miss him."

I frown. I forget he does not know how to heal his heart. "Talk to Eywa, there." I point toward the Tree of Souls, where a handful of Na'Vi chant. "He will hear."

My mate is quiet, then, like lightning, he is on his feet. His eyes are determined. "Come with me?" I rise, and follow him as he runs the cliffside-spiral path to the base of the Tree of Souls. It is second nature to be following one of such confidence. The People bow heads, and call to him, and he nods back, waving and murmuring, "I see you."

We pass by Tsu'Tey's body, close enough to feel the wind in his braids. His broad face is unsmiling and stoic. He is as a stone. I lower my head, eyes downcast in respect. His hands grip his black braid of woven hair. I gently touch his cheek. Jake does not look at him. I wonder. Why would he not respect such a friend and brother? He said he wished to speak to him! Perhaps it is not human tradition to look at the dead.

I allow my mate to go first toward Eywa. _Vitraya Ramunon_ is tall in the evening sky, her warming light easing the harsh passage from the sun. I watch as he kneels with his knees digging into the ground. He bites his lip, pulling his braid from his back - it is second nature - to connect with the tree. I see the pink strands caress the strands. He sways, then his head falls slightly. A seed falls near my head. I eye Eywa's sacred spirit, holding out my hand. It falls into my hand and I know this will be for Tsu'Tey. It strikes me like an arrow through the heart: I will be sending my friend.

From the Tree, Jake laughs, a sound that creates smiles around him. He does not know he is speaking out. "Woah," Jake says. "I don't know if that was you, but you have a promise, brother." He grips the vines tighter, eyes squeezing shut. He is saying a peaceful goodbye. He is saying he will remember Tsu'Tey, and hearing Tsu'Tey repeat it.

Under the branches of Eywa, his long arm reaches out for me. It is shaking. I go to his side, frowning. "Yes, my Jake?"

He avoids my gaze. Instead, he studies the Tree of Souls, whispering, "I'm going to be back here in six hours, and this will be my body." He sighs. "Tsu'Tey told me he would be watching. And to take care of you, or else when I die, he will make it very unpleasant." His grin is slowly coming back.

I tap his chest. "You need to talk to Norman now."

My mate is vibrant. "I want to." His smile is wide. "Tsu'Tey is with me."

I frown. "All of our ancestors are with us, Jake." I do not understand his fascination.

The grin is turning wide, like he is laughing at himself. With his hand on my wrist, he explains, "On Earth, there is no communication. No braids, remember? Funerals always creeped me out. I'm glad-" he glances to the shining tree "-I'm glad I can remember that, instead of his death face."

I nod, feeling sorrow. It seems terrible to not hear a beloved. The sun's fading rays are causing the tree to sparkle, beginning to flare with the life flowing in Eywa, and I can feel her breath on my face. Jake must hurry, or we will be flying in the dark.

Jake detaches himself from me. Like a baby _pa'li_, he hobbles back to the tree. I follow in the shadows; I want to make sure he does not unlink fast. I want him to be healthy for tonight. His left eye winks as he lays his body down, stretching out. He smiles up at me and touches my leg with butterfly fingers.

"I'll be back," he says. His head drops. Within minutes, his breathing is nearly nonexistent. My Jake is a human again.

I stand and let Eywa's presence flow over me as a hand of a loved one. She is soothing. Relaxing. I gently dance to the tree, touching her skin. I murmur a prayer and my thoughts rest on Tsu'Tey. I want to speak with him as well. Where I stand, my legs fold underneath me; with shaking hands I allow my braid to connect.

Warmth flares through me, like a warm sun. Once it spreads throughout my entire body, it feels like Tsu'Tey is standing behind me. It is comfort, to know he is here, by me. I touch my lips in regret. _I am sorry we never spoke of being Tsahik and Olo'eyktan. I am sorry we did not speak._

Instead of a silence, I feel his presence laughing. His anger is gone. Eywa has smoothed his soul like a wooden flute by the hands of Na'Vi. I know what he would say: _I see you. Take care of the skxawng._

I nod, saying, _I see you, Tsu'Tey._ It is my final farewell.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

"I thought I'd find you here."

Norman's head swings up off the screen to stare at me. I'm settled loosely in my wheelchair. Silently, I tell him to believe I bring no harm. My eyes meet his and I make them truthful. "Truce?"

The chair creaks as my friend leans back. His face is untroubled, and I see something like regret in his eyes. His palm rubs the back of his neck. He gives a long sigh. "Jake, I was really rude to you."

Norm is a good guy. If Neytiri died, I would be inconsolable. It's amazing that Norman was even up. I grin. "It's okay." I wheel closer, and Norman's lips smile a little. "I never knew how much she meant to you...Trudy. You should have told me earlier. I woulda talked Grace into coming back into the village more often."

"We only played cards in the copter when you two were gone!" Norman laughs, a light finally coming on within his eyes. He seems better. "I'd have to make up half of my samples in one day with Trudy's help. She'd fly my Avatar around to the testing spots instead of me walking."

There's a comfortable silence and then I find myself saying, "You know, if you can stand a ride on an _ikran_, you're invited to the ceremony." He stares at me incredulously, and I find myself smirking, "Neytiri wants you there."

A grin, something I'm sure he hasn't done for a while, spreads across his face. He's happy. Slowly, he leans back, crossing his arms behind his head. The lab's computer screen blinks, and he immediately leans back over the keyboard, typing in a few things.

"Well," he states, "If you answer some of these questions, and do a final video log, I'll do it. One question: can I bring a detection unit? I won't if you don't want me to."

I cough, remembering the way I reacted. Apparently Max told him about my sharp answer. "Yes you can, Norman." I shift in the chair. "What are the questions?"

He types in one sentence, then rests his hands. "'What do you feel as an Avatar?'"

I laugh. My eyebrow raises.

"The science commissioner's questions, not mine."

I vigorously rub my slightly-longer-than-stubble facial hair. "I want to be in it all the time. Mentally, I'm more aware of my surroundings and the animals since experiencing the 'Bond'. I have a new mindset." I twitch. No way am I telling him about Neytiri. "Physically, I was able to feel my legs, and after a couple of days, I felt like I had much better balance because of the tail. I did feel like it was harder to breathe, but not when exercising or physically active."

Norman hits a button to enter the information. "Sandra proposed a theory that the mix of human blood and Na'Vi might cause different levels of air absorption in the lungs. Despite being able to breathe the air, there could be genetic factors tweaking how it moves into your organs."

Worry shoots through me. "I...can't breathe in my Avatar?"

"No! Well...maybe. It's just a theory, Jake. Next question."

"Um, can I breathe or not?"

"Have you been?"

"...good point...Why do I have to answer these?"

Norman's eyes continue to check answers, making the computer make affirmative clicks. "It's your final checkout. Nobody's survived long enough to fill one out. Okay. 'Did you take advantage of the ropes course, nutrition gardens, and exercise equipment?'"

"No."

"'Did you encounter any...ha, natives?'"

My lips quiver. "I think you can answer that one, Norm. I'll allow you to take the words out of my mouth."

He takes it in good nature. "Damn right. Quaritch would say you caught some tail."

"Don't talk about my girl that way."

"Does Neytiri know you call her your girl?"

"For you, I toned it down. She's my mate." I waggle my finger in his face. "Forever."

To his credit, Norm swivels back to face the computer, coughing slightly. No nonsense. He has a flush on his face. "Okay, okay... 'Do you experience any difficulties within the Avatar program?'"

"The one I have is going to be corrected tonight. If you're coming."

"I'm coming, jack ass. Now answer the questions. 'How long is your enlistm-' I'm going to say indefinitely."

"Damn right."

"'Did the instructors give you proper instruction?'"

"Grace did good." I smile a little, my buoyant mood dipping a little. Grace was rough, and tumbled, but she gave me the strength I needed. If she could survive long enough to make it to the Tree of Souls, I would make it through the passing ceremony. I would. For Grace. "She stuck to her samples."

Norman rubs his forehead. "Yeah she did." He's lost so much: Grace, Trudy, his Avatar. I hope he won't lose me as a friend.

"Getting into the deep stuff: 'On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your experience on Pandora?'"

"...a million."

"'Can you describe your activities while in your Avatar?'"

Memories...how can I pick just a few? "Well, getting my ass kicked by Tsu'Tey, falling in love with the princess, choosing my own _ikran_, becoming the sixth Toruk Makto-"

"Okay, okay. I'll get those later. Last question. 'Overall, how do you feeling about the program?'"

"I feel like I'm finally becoming something bigger. I'm what I'm meant to be. If all I do for the rest of my life is eat meat and grunt and raise babies, I will always remember where I started." I stare pointedly at him. "And who my friends are."

He glances up. I'm eagerly rolling toward the link room, where I know a private video camera waits. Gotta get this done before tonight, cause there is no way I'm coming back here except for visits.

"Hey," he says.

I barely glance over my shoulder. I bite my lip. "What, Norm?"

"Happy birthday."

It strikes me how little I truly know Norman Spellman. I must do better in the future, in-Avatar or not. I must make the time. I must have the energy. I must make the effort. Subconsciously, I bow my head, grinning. "Thanks," I say, rolling out in good spirits.

There is one more thing I have to do before I give my final video log.

Max's office is just down the hall. He's more of the Avatar-human-Na'Vi biology triangle sort, instead of the plants and energy readings of the People. I only need one answer and I hope Dr. Patel will know. I knock on the doorjamb, peeking around the lab. It seems empty. A scrape of a chair against the tile draw my attention to the back of the room. Max is bent double, peering at me from under a table. It seems he's trying to...plug in a computer?

I laugh. "Can I help there, bud?" I roll near his hands, palm extended for the cable.

"Yes." He sighs in aggravation, pulling his head out from the table. He bangs it rather loudly. "I'm glad you came before Neytiri comes and picks you up. I think the _ikrans_ barely set down in the helicopter pad. I just wanted to wish you well and all."

"Thanks." The silence that comes is a little awkward, only interrupted by me plugging the cable in the computer. It doesn't work. Last time I saw this guy, I had ripped his head off. "Max," I begin, elbows resting on my dead knees, "I need to know some things if I'm going to be a Na'Vi for the rest of my unnatural life."

The doctor in front of me laughs, slumping further into the chair. "Okay, Jake. I guess this is something Norman really can't tell you because either a, he's busy, or b, he doesn't have a clue, or c, you don't want to talk to him about it...or is it d, all of the above?"

My neck feels itchy. I rub it hastily. "D, definitely."

He pokes his glasses up on his chubby face. He looks like a psychiatrist, ready to break down my barriers. It nearly makes me lose my determination. "Okay, okay," I say, holding up my hands, "How long will this body last?"

"Approximately 125 years. If you don't get eaten."

I blink. "Wow. Knew that one off the bat."

Max grins, face like a chubby toddler playing a game. "I've been here for eighteen years, Jake. Grace hated the minute details, so after the school closed, she pushed me into the study of anatomy and biology regarding Avatars versus Na'Vi. I came as an Avatar engineer and programmer. You could say I know a few things."

"Damn. Sorry. Okay. What...uh, what does a mate do? I mean, what will I do for Neytiri?"

The eyes go large behind the glasses. "Big stuff. Wooooo...you did the whole thing with the queues?"

"The what?" I grunt.

"Your braids. The nerves. You connected them?"

"Yes..."

"Just clarifying! Duties are shared fairly equally. You'll probably be hunting for each other or the community, weaving or praying, or teaching the children. The kids can be either yours or the tribe while the warriors hunt. With the destruction of Home Tree, I wouldn't be surprised if creating a new community loom would be first on the to-do list. You will support each other. Neytiri will probably be training more as leader, when her time comes."

"And..." I know he is going to flip. "...if I am Olo'eyktan?"

This silence is more awkward. I remember yelling at him earlier this morning, telling him I would refuse at absolutely any cost. "Look," I begin, "Mo'at cornered me, and reminded me that I brought down _Kelutral_ and the blood of every living thing is on my hands. It's not like I sought it out-"

Max cuts me off with a short, "Don't worry about it. I'll pretend we didn't have that discussion this morning. Well...you will lead any war parties, you will decide what is best for the people...that will probably be choosing a new home at this stage, and you will give out discipline. Granted, there isn't much, but if the laws of the clan are not followed, you are to enforce them. It will only take once; you will have plenty of support from the warriors you flew into battle with. The People love you."

I nod. "So I will be a glorified decision maker?"

"Yes. Use that noggin'."

My breath is coming faster. Last question. The one that everyone tells me not to worry about. "And...there will be no complications child-wise? My genes won't corrupt Neytiri's?"

Max looks at me like I'm six. A sly grin comes across his face. "I'll bet people have been telling you Neytiri will be fine all day long, right? Am I right?"

I rub my cheek again. "Yes," I say bluntly, "I want to hear it from a human's standpoint. Mo'at told me 'Eywa will provide'."

"Wise Tsahik. Well, at least we know you worry enough to be Olo'eyktan..." He grows serious. "There might be a slightly less rate of development; humans have shorter pregnancy cycles, and grow through childhood over twenty one years. Full grown Na'Vi take...guesstimate, around ten years. It's a larger world and the speed and strength are important with thanators running around. Neytiri's pregnancy might be faster than usual, with a smaller newborn. Probably no twins. Neytiri isn't heavy enough." His smile is a little crooked; it's clear he thought the idea would be entertaining.

Kids. I can actually have kids. My heart pounds. "Thanks Max. It's all I needed." I shrug slightly. "Sorry you can't come tonight. Only Norm is invited, per Neytiri's orders."

His smile is easy-going. "Maybe, if Norm ever wants to..."

"Don't harass him!" I snort, already near the door. The time is coming and I still have to do a lab report. "Bye, Max." This will be the last time he sees me as a human. The promise is satisfying in my mind.

"See you later, alligator." I can already hear him scraping the chair to keep fiddling with the computer.

I pass by a window, glancing out. The sun is gone; Neytiri won't be happy we fly in the dark. After all, who knows if Toruk will suddenly crash down on us? That's a depressing thought when tonight is all I've ever wanted. The hallways are deserted as I glide down; everybody is probably sleeping or resting. I plug in a card on the datapad in Room 242.

The room they gave me was supposed to be shared with a roommate; that guy got lucky. I was gone all the time. Still, the square cubicle holds all of my supplies, including clothes. I'll probably leave them here, so I don't have to wander around the forest with an armload of clothes I'll never wear. I grasp the sack on the floor.

Taking a huge sigh, I roll into the bathroom. Gingerly, I take out the bottle of shaving cream, my razor, and my toothbrush. I want to do this, as a last human attempt. I'll never need to check for cavities again. The mirror is grungy. I stare at my reflection. My eyes are tired, deadpanned. The scruff around my cheek and neck is becoming itchy. The shaving cream goes on first, covering me in a white beard. I chuckle. Then I begin tracing the razor through the white foam.

My mood settles. As I near the end of ten minutes, and I finish, I notice how my eye blinked when I studied my wild hair. It wasn't just a blink. It was a way I rolled my chin, bit my lip, and relaxed my eyelids. It is a loose habit. And it seems so unreal that I won't see this human face ever again.

Is this what Neytiri sees: the small human quirks that make me unique? Can she see my jaw in Tom's face, the way my eyes take in the brush, and how my teeth chew at my lip? Does she hear the way I banter in my crude tongue with the others? Can she feel the way my adrenaline sweeps me up in action, where I must move or else my heart will give out?

Obviously, she doesn't care about the wheelchair. It's a nice thing to know.

I grunt, lifting my pack. This is the last thing: a handful of items I cannot live without. I need something to remember being human.

I begin digging through it, getting rid of the toothbrush, toothpaste, and other meaningless things. Near the bottom, I come across a bent photo. It's of me and Tom, arms around each other's shoulders, before Venezuela. It's our birthday, and Dad is in the background, passed out on the couch. Mom took it. Smiling, I decide I'll leave it here, with Norm. I don't want this destroyed in the jungle.

The clothes are useless. My legs are so small jeans or pajamas will never fit against the rock hard thighs of Toruk Makto. Sighing, I fold them and drop them on the end of the RDA standard bed. The shirts, socks, and briefs follow. I grin, thinking about my kids. Maybe I should keep them to show them, in the future. They wouldn't believe how small their daddy was.

In the bottom, there is a small locked box. I take a breath and crack it open. Metal gleams out at me: SULLY, JAKE. MARINE. 2154 YEAR. B POS. The metal beads of the chain dig into my skin as I hold them close. I want to keep these, as a warning. The humans will return.

And there. There is what I really wanted.

Deftly, I pick up the band, meant to fit around a girl's left size 7 ring finger. Somehow, I doubt it will fit Neytiri.

XXX

#### -Neytiri-

My tail twitches. I told my Jake to be ready before the sun fell.

I am watching him roll down the metal platform. Norm is nearly jumping down the ramp; his eyes are smiling. The masks are shining. The lights are low since the one they call Parker left, no longer trying to create day in the dark. His human body is like a child, but I can see muscle in his arms. He is used to working hard, all the time. I feel a smile forming.

"Hey, beautiful," he says, clearly meeting my eyes. It makes my stomach do flips. 'Flips'. A human word. I bashfully lower my head.

My People behind me shift, knuckles touching their foreheads to greet the respected warrior in his own body. Fusca playfully head butts my shoulder, clearly unsure about this new creature. I gently stroke her jaw. She will have to carry both of us. I turn to my mate.

Jake stops his chair close to my side. It barely reaches my waist. Gently, I thread my arms under him, lifting him in one move. Fusca shivers when his skin touches her back. She clacks her jaws in irritation until I silence her inside with a hiss. I quickly slide up next to Jake, my stomach against him. He is warm.

I dip my head near his shoulder. "Ready?"

He shivers. "Yeah. Hit it."

The _ikran's_ muscles bunch, and with a screech, we are in the sky. The others are behind us, silent like the _toruk_. Air is passing us smoothly. Jake gives a hoot, arms thrown into the air. For one moment, my head whirls. He has to grab the spine in a few seconds to balance. I can feel his heart pounding.

"I hold you," I say in his ear, an arm encircling his waist. He does not react. Slowly, his arms lift, outstretched like the wings on which we ride. This time, I crow. Our voices blend as one. When he stops, a smile is across his face.

The rest of the flight passes in peace. The trees are an ocean of peace, swaying with the colors I love, the purples and blues of life. Fusca sways under us, but we are together.

The Tree of Souls begins to appear after the _Iknimaya_. It is glowing with Eywa. Behind us, my brothers and sisters are barking and chirruping, watching our descent. I hear Norm shouting. Even the _ikrans_ call back and forth. It will be a joyous night. The People of the Plains and the Shores have gathered by Eywa's basking light with the Omaticaya. They are waiting for us in excitement, eyes peering toward us. Fusca slows, farther in the trees from the others who land in a rush of dust. Whoops arise. From the cliff, I can see Norm's astonished face; the bag in his hand is loose and forgotten.

Jake does not speak in front of me. He is silent. His hand clenches my wrist, his arm wrapped over mine. We are hidden in the trees, where I will let my mate accept this is what is happening. My mother is herding Norm close to the tree. The others see this and accept him. She would not let him in if he were a threat to Eywa.

I look to Jake's face. He sees my face. "Neytiri," he says softly, "I love you." His hand tightens, only barely. "I know right now, I want to kiss you as hard as I can. You must promise me when I wake up, that you will greet me." His grin is wide.

_Silly._ I smile. "I will." Quickly, I detach from Fusca, grasping Jake in one arm. I shoo her.

First, I must prepare my mate. He will have no clothes but Eywa. This body will pass to her tomorrow, with the respects of all, as the Mother Earth would have wanted. Jake is hearing my thoughts of nakedness, because he asks, "Can you put me there? I can pull these off myself."

The trees are dark. I lay him down in the soft ferns, watching for a moment. Light sparkles on his oxygen mask, and vanishes as his shirt is pulled off. His skin is like the clouds: white and pale. But I recognize the muscle, the collarbones in his shoulders, and his neck. The hair is soft brown, like the hair on his head.

I begin to pull vines and leaves from the trees. After gathering, I have an armful and I sit beside Jake, watching him reach down to his bared feet. He wore no 'shoes'; why would he need them? He allowed those remaining to have these items. He works at his belt with small fingers, then lies back, ready to remove them. I help get the scratchy pants off. To my surprise, he is wearing more clothes.

Before I can throw the pants to the trees, he grasps my hand. He slowly bites his lip, and says, "I have something for you. To keep. I will explain when I'm back."

I frown as he picks up a shiny gold ring from the pocket. "What is it?" I ask when he drops it in my palm. It is light and I can not feel it well.

His eyes are serious. "I will explain. Keep it for me."

I nod, and place it carefully on the beads hanging by my knees. I loop them together, then tighten it. If it is important to Jake, I will not lose it. He nods, smiling and touching my face. I cannot help it; I lean and hold him close, like a child. His warm skin against mine is a promise we will be together.

I strip him down the rest of the way, allowing him to place the vines where he wants them. The way he does is hasty; he keeps looking down at the gathering crowds and losing track of the leaves. All my People are bonding to Eywa, chanting to her. I know he is impatient.

"We go," I say, picking him up in one swoop. "You will see me when you wake. I will be with Mo'at."

"Remember you've gotta kiss me."

I nuzzle him as the ferns wink into life with me removing his body. "I promise." Carrying him, I run down the trail, slowing to pick my way through the People. All are singing. It makes my heart beat in time with theirs. Norm is watching, seated between two great warriors who remembered him from the battle. He is smiling. I begin chanting when Mo'at instructs me to place him near the body of Toruk Makto, my voice sure. Jake's eyes are smiling up at me, and I see him whisper through the plastic of his mask. He closes his eyes when I hold his hand. When I join Eywa, our connection is strong. She knows I have joined and that I will pray with her. She reads me, knows that I will perish without my Jake. I know that she is allowing him to become one soul in one body.

Jake will be here with me. Jake will be my mate in everything. We will be together.

The song breathes through me. I remember to keep my eyes open, to watch. In concern, I see Jake's breath stop, no longer in his body. At the same instant, I see Toruk Makto's chest rise. I can hear a new heartbeat entering our People through the _tsahaylu_. A cry of joy and hope sends the rise of the song to a high.

I remove the mask, seeing his face in my world. I must kiss my mate goodbye. I do so, first one cheek, then the other. With one final touch, I swing to Jake, hands pressing his.

He opens his bright eyes. Like a giant wave, Mo'at shouts to the heavens. The roar is enormous, a sound of hundreds accepting him, of welcoming him home. No one disconnects; they wait for his first thought in Eywa.

_I am home._

The relief fills my chest with excitement. His mind entering us is overwhelming. He is strong, hard, and content. It is alien. The others rejoice, finally connecting to the one who led us to battle, no matter how distant through Eywa.

His eyes find mine, stars of gold. His lips twitch as his arms push him up suddenly, Eywa's fingers of grass dropping back into the earth. My lips touch his, welcoming. He does not deepen it, but unknown to the People, he touches my heart with his five fingers. It is a need between us.

I am looking forward to this night.

XXX

#### -Jake Sully-

Neytiri had a halo.

I had never seen an angel, but she would be pretty damn close. Her hands were holding mine, drawing me out of Eywa's slumber with assuredness. I could feel the People reaching out. I felt the grass touching my arms, drawing me close to the ground. Those attending wanted me there. I couldn't believe it.

I can't remember exactly what happened after our kiss. I vaguely remember unlinking from Eywa because the noise shot a bullet through my brain, and hands touching my shoulders, echoes of gratitude in my ears. I remember a smiling Neytiri dragging me through the crowds, beads clacking in her hair. The sound reminded me of my mother's ring on her belt and I wanted to be alone with her.

Together, we bolted past the People, exploding into the jungle. I felt a longing to stay. But Neytiri broke even that tiny resistance away with a smile, and a squeeze of my fingers.

The breath in my lungs is real. My fingers feel natural, like I have been born in this body. Which I had- it's my birthday. Moving had become a real thing; I wanted to race longer and harder, straining against the dirt. I subconsciously think of when I first woke in my Avatar.

_Run._

Neytiri is keeping pace even when I floor past her, laughing and grunting from the exertion. Thin branches sting my cheeks, and the color flooding from the ferns and leaves light fireworks of purple and blue in my eyes. I can only see the beauty of the landscape, awake and alive, keeping me wired. It is seeing the world, not in two bodies, but one.

One.

My legs slowly let the harsh run lag into a jog, then a walk. Neytiri keeps her hand in mine, the smile permanently etched on her face. I study her, realizing how much sharper her face seems. Maybe it was because I was seeing through Na'Vi eyes, not human-shaded eyes. I swing her close to me, precariously situated near a tree, under a branch. To regain my balance, I press my knee into the bark. Panting, I laugh, and she is laughing with me, like a bell from back home. It is sweet.

"Neytiri," I say, holding her close, "I'm here." Her skin is hot against mine, and I run my hand up her back, kissing her neck. My heart is slowing, making the exertion catch up to me. A massive headache splits my head. "Ow..."

She smiles gently, like she knows how exhausted I am. Her hand encloses my cheek. "My Jake," she says, settling down on the tree root, "Your mind is spent. Sit." I do, allowing my legs to release the cramps.

I see her fingering the ring. A slight frown is in her eyebrow. I force the pain to subside, and I reach over, unwinding it from her braid. The gold is gleaming, curved and subtly binding. Neytiri is looking at me expectantly.

"It's a marriage ring," I begin, "On Earth, it shows two people are bound. Almost like before Eywa." My mother's face is in the back of my mind, round cheeks pink as my father kisses her goodnight. I take Neytiri's finger. "It was my mother's. I promised her I would put it on the woman I marry."

Neytiri bows her head, a smile of content and surprise on her face. I quietly touch her throat collar, thumb brushing her ear. "Will you wear it?" I ask, letting her decide.

She does not even hesitate. "Yes." Her fingers deftly unclasp the necklace, slipping on the ring. I hold her hair as she ties it back up, proudly lifting her chin to show it to me. Her smile is not fake, not surprised. She is content. It makes my heart pound.

"Jake," she whispers, "You promised me when you were one that we would mate." Her eyebrow raises, and a coy smile - very different than her shy one - makes her eyes twinkle. "I believe that time is now."

My breath is hot on her shoulder. I smile against her skin.

"I agree."

XXX

Ten years ago, on Earth, I couldn't even imagine I'd be calling the Na'Vi my 'people'.

I'd heard they were brutal, savage creatures hurting the operation for unobtanium. The RDA from the United States of America was helping out Earth's economy and world association by presenting a new source of energy worldwide. The Na'Vi were simpletons, idiots who loved Pandora like treehuggers.

Now, I am one of them, despite my five fingered hands and feet, and my language. Isn't strange how fate can be so ironic?

I have a mate. I have a place. I am Toruk Makto and Jakesully. I will become Olo'eyktan.

I am me.

0

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	4. Epilogue

My eyes are so heavy.

It's gotta be in the middle of the night. I can hear a newly settled family four stories below us, speaking quietly; I can hear the footfalls of a small squirrel-like creature in the tree's trunk; the smell of a ripe fruit being eaten by a creature in the brush wafts up through the air. The nighttime usually soothes my buzzing brain, especially after hours of studying our new home with the warriors and teaching the women the new surroundings. I am exhausted enough that I only crawl into the soft nest. Two hours later, I am counting Neytiri's breaths.

This is not a new phenomenon. There has been little sleep for weeks. It's like I'm connected to Eywa at all hours and I feel like I must be awake to respond. It seems to be an affect of having a Na'Vi child.

Speaking of which...

"Fuuuuuzzzzzy," Tom purrs. He rubs his tiny blue head against a soft blanket - stolen from the RDA dorm rooms, courtesy of Norm - clenching a section of it in his five-fingered hands. The blanket overwhelms the tiny body writhing around in it. My son's tail is curled around his leg like a vine. The tree sways, the wind singing through the leaves. His tiny ears lift in curiosity.

I smile, reaching out to pull the blanket closer. Thomas squeals under his breath when it moves his body toward me. I murmur, "Hey, bud..." Deftly, I manage to pull my son and his newfound object of love onto my stomach. He doesn't have much weight, even now; while I was worried about his speech, Neytiri was worried about his strength. He came earlier than usual -at about eleven months- and she was frightened. I told her I was worried because on Earth, babies came closer to eight and a half months. She was astonished.

His eyes shine at me like glowing lanterns. Patting my ribcage, he says, "Papa. _Sempu_."

"Yes, I'm your daddy. Who's that?" I ask in a whisper, pointing to my mate. Near the trunk, Neytiri is curled up in a bed of moss, exhausted. Her pretty face is relaxed, her stomach toned back up. It's been nearly a year and a half since she's given birth.

Tom hesitates, lips slightly falling into a frown. His hands clench the blanket tighter, clearly unsure of the word in English, although he's trying to sound it out.

There is no reason to worry, because growing up with two languages is hard. I was surprised he even started speaking this early; my neighbor's kid on Earth didn't speak for three years. Maybe it's a Na'Vi brain in a human body thing. I gently tickle his ribs; he squeals in happiness, trying to bite my hands. "_Sa'nu! Sa'nu!_"

One of Neytiri's eyes open to a slit. Seeing my grinning face, she lays her ears back in irritation. I can see her teeth shining like razors. Tom disrupts her death glare by clapping his hands together, then reaching for her with a huge smile. The way he's balanced, it's a wonder he hasn't fallen off my chest yet. I glance to Neytiri. The way her face melts is endearing.

She stretches, crawling over to where we are lying. "Thomas," she greets, nuzzling his forehead. His arms clamp around her neck, and he looks up at her adoringly through the folds of the peach-colored blanket.

"_Sa'nu..._" he whines. I can hear him clicking his tongue, a clear indicator that he's thirsty.

With a sour look, Neytiri stares him down, pointing toward the jug of water we keep in the nook of the tree. "Water," she emphasizes. Her eyes flicker to mine in exasperation. I shrug. We've started weaning Tom, and he's having a rough go of it. Usually, we let him cry until he will drink water we've collected that day. My mate is tired of him trying to bite her.

The baby stares at her breasts, then begins thumping his head against her chest in frustration. I think I see a tear.

Gently, I unwind his arms, crouching over him. "Thomas," I say sternly, "Let your mother sleep. Water." With my knuckles, I nudge him toward the small jug. He sits flat on his butt for one moment, with his arms tight against his chest. Neytiri and I pretend to ignore him, smiling slightly, eyes meeting in amusement. After a few minutes of sitting alone, he finally crawls towards it, grumpily intent on drinking to his satisfaction.

A rush of breath comes out of Neytiri's lips. She groans, falling from her kneel into my lap. "My Jake," she growls, "I want to sleep. Little Tom makes me worried when he calls my name." Her eye pierces mine. "You let him wake me up."

I feel a twinge of guilt. Mo'at's health has been declining, and as such, my mate is beginning to take on the role of _Tsa'hik_. If anything, she works harder than I do. I secure and maintain the new boundaries of our home, but that just entails running off any predators and establishing that the Omaticaya have claimed this place by allowing the _ikrans_ to mark the trees with their claws. Neytiri cares for Mo'at all day while learning many deep secrets. Tom is given to Ney'nat - who is deciding whether she wants kids of her own - while we are away.

"Be glad you don't have twins," I tease, kissing her jaw line. Subconsciously, my fingers dig into her back, massaging out her aches and tight muscles. "Tom and I gave my mom heart attacks when we'd disappear-"

"Papa!"

Tom is struggling to right the huge jug, his lips wet from the water splashing out. His face is twisted in frustration. I sigh as Neytiri retreats back to her moss bed, tail twitching in amusement. In a second, my hand reaches out and helps the kid set it back into the tree. "Good job, buddy," I say, my eyes sagging with sleep. He almost scurries away with the intent to play and scream energetically; I catch his belt with two fingers and drag him back. "Sleep. Now."

I grab the dirty peach cloth to keep it from falling off the tree limb, stuffing it into his face. He giggles, and says very clearly, "Blanket." I toss him into his own moss circle, laughing under my breath as he moves the skin of his face back and forth against his blankie, closing his eyes. A sigh escapes from his lips. He's under within milliseconds.

What a day. This guy runs me everywhere; in the early morning, I take him flying, to the sheer disapproval of those who see me sneak off with the squealing baby. For lunch - even if I do not eat - I make sure I find him and sit down to chat in English. Neytiri usually finds us. The sun shines, and I make him speak words, either in Na'Vi or English. As a family, we sit in the sun-lit middle of the eating floor, which is no more than a tree trunk's flat ledge with a enormous circumference of a quarter of a mile.

The People now live deep in the mountains, in a group of seventy year old trees hidden behind a rocky crest of earth. There are five trees, so deeply rooted that in the center, there is a dark grove for praying and meditating. We have planted a seed collected from the Tree of Souls, hoping it will grow into a new spiritual tree. It is a serene place.

Three months after I had become a Na'Vi, I chose this place because it is easy to hear helicopters, the _ikrans_ can perch in caves dug into the cliffs above, and there are fields of a thousand kinds of fruit in a high pasture, within easy walking distance. The important part is that the People can spread out over the mountains to take cover from invasion; our home cannot kill us this time. Neytiri loved it, mostly since it's about twenty miles from the Tree of Voices.

A snore brings my attention back to the present. I grin, peeking at my son. Like his namesake, Tom could wake the dead while sleeping. Quietly, I check on my mate.

In the darkness, Neytiri seems like a jaguar from back home, lithe and powerful. As a kid, I remember seeing one in a zoo picture, wondering at the ridges of muscle. Neytiri is no different. For the thousandth time, I thank the stars that I ended up with her. The object of my sudden thoughts sighs, eyes winking open, like she can hear me. Her head rolls to the side and her hand flaps gently.

I know the hint when I see it.

Careful not to wake our baby, I slip over to her. I touch her hand with a smile, managing to squeeze into the moss nest with her. I feel the muscles relax and her breathing evens out. "Mmmmmmm..." she purrs, sinking into my body.

At least I know where Thomas gets his love of cuddling things from.

With a tender kiss to her neck, I breath in once, and release. Then twice, and release...

Three...

F..o...u...r...

The last thing I remember is the smell of Neytiri soothing me into sleep.

0

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEMES OF I See You
> 
> Chapter one talked about insecurity (even when you know you are the best at what you do), true love (with all the arguments in between), and dependence (leaning on friends/family/love and the bitterness of mobility, as demonstrated by Jake's paralyzed legs).
> 
> Chapter two is about loss (Trudy; Earth's future destruction, faith in humanity), communication (divulging all of your secrets and fears), and hope for the future.
> 
> Chapter three is the essential term of peace of mind, acceptance, and rebirth. It is the coming together of all parts of Jake and Neytiri's soul - good or bad together.
> 
> XXX
> 
> Paralyzation: Those who are paralyzed are not disabled and I am certainly glad in the movie that Jake was a paraplegic, mostly to draw attention to the intense mental focus these individuals have. I have several relatives who can ride horses, drive cars, and still kick my ass while in a wheelchair.
> 
> Jake: In this story, I wrote it to make it real. Insecurity about a physical body is a time-old classic, and something everybody faces when they meet "the One". In Avatar, Jake slips past this by using a faux body, so when Neytiri truly sees him as a human, it's a huge blow to his confidence. He still knows he's the best, and can "pass any test a man can pass." 
> 
> Neytiri: After hearing a short clip from Zoe Saldana - who said the princess was childlike - I tried to bring that aspect of getting upset over little things, and physically violent into the story. Her actual view of language (English) also changed after the bond; this was mostly because if I were connected to an alien mind, I would probably be spouting off in gibberish. She is still a very strong individual and knows what she wants...which means loving Jake no matter what. I like to think when faced with a freaking out Jake, she would be the one to smack him and tell him to suck it up.
> 
> The Bond: It subtly affected both Jake and Neytiri by changing the language they spoke in, how they thought, and the way they thought. The angry at little things, the insecurity of Jake, etc...was caused by a full connection between two minds that probably shouldn't be connected. In the third chapter, when Neytiri tells him they must remain calm, it is a hard fact to know you have to change your habits before they consume you. If Jake didn't know that it was caused by the bond, he might become angry for different reasons than Neytiri. It would drive a wedge between them.
> 
> Earth and Pandora: These two planets are very similar. Both had indigenous populations that were wiped out (or almost) simply because the opposing faction had more firepower. James Cameron is making a point about our mental processes as well, by saying humans as a race are greedy and in it for the fulfillment of individual worth. I think half of this is not our fault, because unlike the Na'Vi, we are not connected to Earth. We all have doubts whether there is truly a spirit connecting the world or if it's just a lump of rocks. The Na'Vi know the difference. I think this affects death and how we interpret it because we cannot talk to our relatives once they are dead; the Na'Vi can hear them, and know Eywa is taking care of them.
> 
> Fun Facts
> 
> -I want to point out that "Tze'ze" is a type of flesh eating fly, and also the name of Neytiri's ikran in the movie. I named her new one "Fusca", after a forest variation of the Tsetse fly.
> 
> -I took "Dileep" (the supposed Na'Vi in the second chapter) from the actor Dileep Rao. He plays Dr. Max Patel.
> 
> -Someone mentioned that Norm probably wouldn't have seen Dances with Wolves. I didn't do this to keep the story in context, but I did it as a prod to those people -my dad included - who thinks Avatar is simply Dances with Wolves in space and that James Cameron is copying hundreds of works of literature, television, and history. I say we need to remember these heroic stories.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted under Lisilgirl on Fanfiction.net on Dec. 27, 2009.


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